Daily Archives: June 28, 2006

CHRIS DIAMOND: Got Wheaties?

Can I eat Wheaties forever? You know the old cliché that every guy tells another guy. “Why get married? You don’t want to eat Wheaties for the rest of you life do you?” It’s not like there’s Groom’s Magazine to answer these questions. Most of the time the men get overlooked when it comes to the wedding. It’s really considered “her day” anyway.

But I remember our wedding vividly.

For me I had butterflies right when I woke up that morning. It happened to be at 4 AM in the morning and I couldn’t go back to sleep, but we’ll consider that “morning” since it was 7AM East Coast Time. Not much to do at 4 AM except think about Wheaties.
Crazy thoughts start racing through your head like am I too young to get married, had I had enough “experiences”, should I travel the world before I get hitched?? Way too much deep stuff to think about at 4 AM, this, ladies, is why there is ESPN News and infomercials.

The day goes by just like any other day for the most part, you have the best man at your beck and call which is kind of cool because he’s like your slave for a day. They must do that because they realize it’s the last time you’ll be able to boss anyone around and not have a discussion about it. I also found out if you tell the girl at Supercut’s it’s your wedding day you get a free haircut!! Most of the time they are bad by your standards, but hey what do you expect for $15.00 plus tip!!

Now comes the big moment, I’m in the tux, everyone’s staring at me, Mom’s crying and the bride’s maids are in their places. The typical intro chimes in and suddenly the doors are not opening. Sheer panic starts to hit me. I’m going to be one of “those guys”. You know the one that you see in the movies where the cute Maid of Honor gives the groom the note and he sits on the altar steps in a crumbled heap of pathetic goo. Finally they swing open and there she is. All I remember thinking was WOW and then the sudden fear of feeling my eyes starting to blur. The last thing I wanted to do was bawl my eyes out. Now that would be real manly and impress my soon-to-be wife. So I take the deep breath, look at the ceiling, stare at a flower for a second and start to think of baseball stats. Yes, it works for crying just as well as you know what!!

The rest is history, the pictures, the first dance were all great, but what’s even better is waking up every morning next to my beautiful wife and thinking Wheaties are damn good.

Chris Diamond
For more on Chris visit: http://www.husbandsanonymous.blogspot.com/