Tag: It's Worth It

It’s Worth It

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

By Kitty Bucholtz

Oh Joy! Oh Rapture! I won!

Remember I told you last month that I would participate in NaNoWriMo? The goal was 50,000 words in 30 days. At the beginning of the month, I felt it was a doable goal – 1667 words per day. By Thanksgiving, I wasn’t so sure. I was barely over the 17,000 mark and thousands of words behind.

But I had two things going for me. One, I desperately needed to create some new and improved writing habits, so I had it in my heart and mind to do whatever it would take to “win” this competition. (Everyone who hits the mark, wins. Essentially, you’re competing against yourself.)

Second, my two critique partners also participated and were equally motivated. We had a conference call twice a week for encouragement, accountability, and brainstorming. We sent emails saying we hit 10,000 words, 20,000 words, or had a breakthrough idea.

In the last five days I wrote 30,711 words. That’s about 123 pages. In my wildest dreams I never would have believed I could do that! I simply decided not to stop typing. I woke up in the morning, kissed my husband goodbye, asked God to help me focus, and started typing. I would look at my word count and think – another thousand words and I’ll be at the next 10,000 word mark. Or – another hundred words and I’ll beat Stephanie for the day. (grin) I heard the voice of Dorie, the blue fish in Finding Nemo, singing, “Just keep typing, just keep typing.”

I won a lot more than a competition. (I stopped at about 6pm on the last day with 52,415 words.) I developed some key new habits. I found better ways to get work done, things I never would’ve tried if I hadn’t been willing to try anything to win the competition. And perhaps most importantly, I learned what I can do.

That first weekend after NaNo ended, my brain was a jumble. I tried to remember whether I had paid the rent. My friends at church asked why I wasn’t my usual talkative self. I told them, “I used up all my words in my book!” They laughed and congratulated me.

By the next Tuesday, I was eagerly working on my book again, making notes, moving scenes around. By Thursday, I could see that if I deliberately chose to not let my new habits slip, I could keep up a far higher degree of productivity. On Friday, during our conference call, my critique partners and I started brainstorming a new idea for our budding web site. We decided that we needed to encourage other writers with ideas on how to keep writing. We are beyond excited about our plans!

Participating in NaNo was hard work. Friends and family were kindly told to wait until December. I snuck into another room on Thanksgiving Day to write for a while. Chores and errands were put off. My to do list on December 1 was terrifyingly long. But I have new habits that are pushing me to the next level in my writing. So I say – it’s worth it!

Kitty Bucholtz writes romantic comedies because, well, she lives one! She wrote her first book in the NBC cafeteria, the second snowed in at a Reno hotel, and the third from a tiny apartment in Sydney. Even though she loves talking about, writing about, and teaching about writing, she’s pretty sure she knows at least three people who aren’t writers.

It’s Worth It

Some days I can hardly wait to start writing. Last night I was writing right up until my husband turned out the lights. Other days I really need…something. So this month I decided to try participating in NaNoWriMo – National Novel Writing Month (www.nanowrimo.org). With close to 100,000 people around the world writing their little hearts out to get 50,000 words down in 30 days, I figured that kind of motivation could be just the kick I need right now.

I’ve been writing for about a week and wow, what a week it’s been. Two full days were devoted to out of town guests. Nearly two more days had to be spent doing some “life stuff” that couldn’t be rescheduled. Yet I’ve still gotten nearly 7,000 words down, most of which would not have been written this week if it weren’t for my competitive streak and NaNoWriMo’s artificial daily goals.

Even though I’m behind schedule, I’m still excited! My November calendar is crowded with visits from family, an online class, and a usually-coveted four-day holiday weekend. Writing is work that constantly makes you choose between your writing goal and one of the numerous other things you’d love (or need!) to do. But I’ve found a joyful place inside where I can live and work, a place with magic and monsters and heroes and romance. I can’t live there without effort, but I say, it’s worth it!

Kitty Bucholtz writes romantic comedies because, well, she lives one! She wrote her first book in the NBC cafeteria, the second snowed in at a Reno hotel, and the third from a tiny apartment in Sydney. Even though she loves talking about, writing about, and teaching about writing, she’s pretty sure she knows at least three people who aren’t writers.

It’s Worth It

FINDING THE JOY AGAIN

By Kitty Bucholtz

Like you, I have a laundry list of things that keep me from writing, and another list of really good reasons why I should and shouldn’t feel guilty. But lately, I’ve been finding that writing isn’t what it used to be for me. I’ve lost the joy.

For the last two years, my husband John and I have been living a bit topsy-turvy. He took a 3-month job in Australia that got extended a month at a time for a year. Because we thought we’d be there for only a few months, we rented a studio apartment. Then we moved back to the States where a new job had us living in a hotel for two weeks while I found an apartment in yet another town. Thinking that job would only last a few months, we again rented a studio apartment. That job is over and now we’re packing up again – but don’t exactly know where we’re going yet. (I’ll tell you one thing, it won’t be to another single-room apartment!)

It’s been fun and exciting…and not a little stressful. Add to that the fact that I have an agent patiently waiting for me to deliver the goods, and I’ve worked myself into a frenzy of high expectations never met.

So I took a moment last week and perused the 808 section of the library. (If you’re not familiar, the 808 section is where all the writing books are!) When I spied Take Joy by Jane Yolen, a flicker of hope sprang to life in my chest. I sat down with that and Sometimes the Magic Works by Terry Brooks and began to laugh out loud at their anecdotes. These writers reminded me again of the joy in creating something silly or scary or adorably romantic.

I’ve made a couple of changes in my writing life already, even though I’m still reading both books. One is really helping my creativity and joy, but is so ridiculous and embarrassing I’m not going to tell! 🙂 The other is to take a deep breath and relax and start writing for the joy of it – not for my agent or for a check or for the sense of accomplishment. Just for the joy.

So…last week I chose to enjoy the process of putting on a huge bash for John’s 40th birthday party without feeling guilty or resentful for the loss of writing time. Today, I choose to spend the day enjoying John’s birthday gift from me – one day on a huge rented Harley Davidson motorcycle (woo-hoo!). And I choose to spend tomorrow wrapped in the soft, ticklish joy of writing. Maybe I’ll even find the unexpected treat of a new story twist…but I’m not going to force it. I’m just going to enjoy it. It’ll be worth it.

Kitty Bucholtz writes romantic comedies because, well, she lives one! She wrote her first book in the NBC cafeteria, the second snowed in at a Reno hotel, and the third from a tiny apartment in Sydney. Even though she loves talking about, writing about, and teaching about writing, she’s pretty sure she knows at least three people who aren’t writers.

It’s Worth It

STARTING OVER

By Kitty Bucholtz

Last month, my agent gave me notes on my latest novel. I’d turned in what I thought was “the” book – it was funny, in a subgenre that was selling well, and most importantly, it was a story I loved with a passion. This was the book I thought would be my breakout work.

Instead, I’m going to have to do a page-one rewrite.

It’s embarrassing to admit, but the quick-to-be-emotional nature that helps me write romances brought a quick rush of tears at the news. I took a few deep breaths, washed my face and waited until the next day to think about it. I saw where my agent was coming from and agreed with her. But still, I was going to have to start over.

From the beginning.

My first thought was that I’d completely wasted a year of my life. My second was that if I’d known I would suck as a writer, I wouldn’t have spent last year in another country stuck in my tiny cockroach-infested apartment. I would’ve been out seeing the country!

My third thought went somewhere along the lines of “Get over it!” (I might not have been that nice though.)

My head agreed that the book would benefit from the changes. My heart wasn’t there yet.

It’s been a few weeks now and I’ve done a lot of brainstorming, taken pages and pages of new notes, and created a brand new (empty) file for the new version. A few days ago, I finally “got it.” The story is coming fast and furious now – and it’s so much better than the initial version that I don’t even know how to compare the two. And THAT is exciting!

Starting over is rarely easy – new book, new job, new home. But if you look for it, you’ll always be able to find something that makes you say, “It’s worth it.”

Kitty Bucholtz writes romantic comedies because, well, she lives one! She wrote her first book in the NBC cafeteria, the second snowed in at a Reno hotel, and the third from a tiny apartment in Sydney. Even though she loves talking about, writing about, and teaching about writing, she’s pretty sure she knows at least three people who aren’t writers.

It’s Worth It

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A Fork in the Road

By Kitty Bucholtz

I turned 39 last month. For the first time. If all goes well, it’ll be for the last time. I heard your 40s are when you finally have the experience and guts to stand up and say, “This is who I am. Like it or leave it.”

I’m not sure if I’m going to do that before I turn 40 though.

I got some notes back from my agent last week and I realized that while I’ve been writing professionally for ten years this year, there are still some words that I misunderstand. Like hot. When she told me the new genre I’m writing in is hot, I was all excited because it just happened that what I want to write is popular right now.

Oh, it is. But that’s not what she meant. She meant that genre has more detailed, uh, love scenes. And from what I’ve skimmed in other books in the genre, love isn’t always a prerequisite for the action.

Oh dear. So now I have to decide how far I’m willing to go. Suddenly I feel 16 again and I’m looking at my cute boyfriend. Will mom find out? What will God think? Just how far is too far? Will I have to wait until everyone whose opinion is important to me dies? (In which case, there’s still God.) And by then, will I even remember how to do it?!

But that’s not really what I’m asking myself. I’m asking myself how far I’m willing to go to be one of the popular girls. One of the thin, blonde, pretty ones with strawberry lip gloss and a bit of mascara that they put on in the girls’ restroom so their mother wouldn’t know. Do I want to do what it takes to have lots of friends (readers)? Or will I prefer to stand off to the side, a wallflower among wallflowers, holding my values to my chest like a badge of honor, secretly wishing I could do what needs to be done to publish my stories?

I’ll tell you the truth, I’m thinking about “doing it” once to see what it’s like, to see what all the hype is about. Maybe I won’t feel I’ve crossed a line. Maybe the money will be worth it. Maybe none of my more conservative friends will think any less of me. Maybe I’ll think I’m cool. But if I decide later it wasn’t worth it, it’ll be too late.

I remember what it was like to want to be more popular, to give away my virginity and later wish I had it back. I’m older and wiser now…and I still don’t know what advice to give myself. Except that there’s nothing better than being able to look yourself in the mirror and say, “I respect myself and what I do,” and “I’m doing all I can to be a successful businesswoman and I’m proud of myself.”

A few days ago, I said to my husband, “You know, now’s the time for me to quit and become a stay-at-home mom if that’s what we want.” It was both a “last chance” moment for us to decide for sure if we wanted to be parents, and – more so – an opportunity for me to quit without answering the question – how far am I willing to go to get published?

It’s a hell of a moment…this moment. It’s “a fork stuck in the road” as the Green Day song goes. Robert Frost said the road less traveled made all the difference. Does that mean he had to have a day job?

I don’t know what I’m going to say to my agent. I don’t want to be pious or popular. I want to be me. And I know that I was created with a unique ability to create. I can’t help but think therein lies the answer. Can I be creative enough to write what the market requires in a way that doesn’t compromise my integrity?

Ask me my age next spring. If I say I’m 39 (again), it means I haven’t quite found the guts yet to stand up and be myself regardless of the cost. But I promise you this: I’ll try with all my heart to work to be that person this year. A person who counts the cost and makes a decision and doesn’t wallow in excuses. A person like that could be a good friend in life, regardless of the level of their financial success.

There will be a price to be paid to become that kind of person, that kind of writer, but I say – it’s worth it.

Kitty Bucholtz writes romantic comedies because, well, she lives one! She wrote her first book in the NBC cafeteria, the second snowed in at a Reno hotel, and the third from a tiny apartment in Sydney. Even though she loves talking about, writing about, and teaching about writing, she’s pretty sure she knows at least three people who aren’t writers.