{"id":30049,"date":"2023-12-25T00:17:47","date_gmt":"2023-12-25T05:17:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.asliceoforange.net\/?p=30049"},"modified":"2023-12-25T00:17:49","modified_gmt":"2023-12-25T05:17:49","slug":"interior-dialogue-by-kidd-wadsworth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.asliceoforange.net\/interior-dialogue-by-kidd-wadsworth\/","title":{"rendered":"INTERIOR DIALOGUE by Kidd Wadsworth"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Photo by Valentin Salja<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

My main issue with fiction, written in first person, is interior dialogue. Often interior dialogue is self-serving\u2014or rather author-serving. Take this passage from The Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m an accident. I\u2019m a lie. And my life depends on maintaining the illusion.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The character is talking to herself to explain stuff to the reader. This pops me out of the story. It\u2019s unreal dialogue. Very few of us have such cogent thoughts. Instead, our thoughts are entwined with our actions. Our body, our emotions and our thoughts are jumbled together. I\u2019ve attempted to rewrite this passage below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I tried not to let her see how much I hated her, but I could barely breathe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I get it. I\u2019ve got to lie for you.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My hand clinched itself into a fist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Interior dialogue also often lacks ambiguity. People neither move nor think in a straight line. Our writing should mimic that. The reason it often doesn\u2019t is that our real thoughts, like real dialogue would be uninteresting and\/or confusing. As readers we want the condensed version. If you\u2019ve ever seen a transcript of an FBI wire-tap you understand. I feel so sorry for those FBI agents. Most of that stuff\u2014a good 99%–is boring and repetitious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cShould we a . . . a . . . go to Denny\u2019s or\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI hate Denny\u2019s. Don\u2019t forget your wallet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOk, ok, maybe . . . what\u2019s that place that\u2019s orange on the inside?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAll I\u2019m saying is, I\u2019m not paying for your ass. You mean Panera?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, this enlightening conversation is taking place while the agents are listening for details about the next bombing attempt. It could be hours before they hear anything remotely interesting like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDid you pick the stuff up?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, obviously, we can\u2019t write dialogue exactly the way it occurs in real life. Not if we want anyone, except our moms, to read our stories. But when interior dialogue is too polished, it stops being real.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most interior dialogue also lacks humor. Humor inserts itself into our lives frequently. Yet, because our characters are constantly saving the world, running for their lives, or at least obsessing over which lipstick will make the love-of-their-life finally notice them, we delete the humor. This is a mistake. Humor breaks the tension, but more importantly, if our character is still willing to laugh, especially at themselves, it can draw the reader in, simultaneously making our character more likeable and more believable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally, interior dialogue tends to suffer from monotony. In other words, the character repeats herself. Again, from The Red Queen:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 I can\u2019t do anything but steal.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

 <\/em>And<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 I\u2019m a coward.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am really tired of hearing this character put herself down. These two thoughts are excellent candidates for humor. Consider my attempt:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m a coward and a thief. <\/em>Across the room I spot my next mark. Tall and clean\u2014obviously, he can afford water for a bath. Well at least I\u2019m not a cowardly thief. <\/em>My fingers are literally itching. I hope he doesn\u2019t smell me coming.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, here\u2019s the list:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  1. No info dumps.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Entwine the dialogue with body movement.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Add a smidgeon of confusion or exhaustion or forgetfulness.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. Add humor.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Happy Writing!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Kidd<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    <\/div>\n\n\n\n

    You’ll find some of Kidd’s stories in the following books.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

    AN ELEMENT OF MYSTERTY: SWEET, FUNNY, AND STRANGE TALES OF INTRIGUE<\/a><\/h2>
    Buy This Book Online<\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>\"AN
    <\/div><\/div><\/div>
    \t
    \t\t\"Buy\t<\/div><\/div>
    <\/div><\/div>
    <\/div><\/div>
    \n\t\t\t\"AN<\/a>\n\t<\/div>\t
    <\/div>\n<\/div>

    FUR, FEATHERS AND SCALES: Sweet, Funny, and Strange Animal Tales<\/a><\/h2>
    Buy This Book Online<\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>\"FUR,
    <\/div><\/div><\/div>
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    <\/div><\/div>
    <\/div><\/div>
    \n\t\t\t\"FUR,<\/a>\n\t<\/div>\t
    <\/div>\n<\/div>

    ONCE UPON A TIME: Sweet, Funny, and Strange Tales for All Ages<\/a><\/h2>
    Buy This Book Online<\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div>\"ONCE
    <\/div><\/div><\/div>
    \t
    \t\t\"Buy\t<\/div><\/div>
    <\/div><\/div>
    <\/div><\/div>
    \n\t\t\t\"ONCE<\/a>\n\t<\/div>\t
    <\/div>\n<\/div>

    UNTETHERED: SWEET, FUNNY, AND STRANGE TALES OF THE PARANORMAL<\/a><\/h2>
    Buy This Book Online<\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
    \"Buy<\/a><\/div>
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    <\/div><\/div><\/div>
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    <\/div><\/div>
    \n\t\t\t\"UNTETHERED:<\/a>\n\t<\/div>\t
    <\/div>\n<\/div> <\/div> <\/div> <\/div> <\/div>\n\n\n\n
    <\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    My main issue with fiction, written in first person, is interior dialogue. Often interior dialogue is self-serving\u2014or rather author-serving.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":491,"featured_media":30050,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[2594],"tags":[4128,4127,705,4126],"featured_image_urls":{"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1707%2C2560&ssl=1",1707,2560,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=70%2C70&ssl=1",70,70,true],"medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=200%2C300&ssl=1",200,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=768%2C1152&ssl=1",768,1152,true],"large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=683%2C1024&ssl=1",683,1024,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1024%2C1536&ssl=1",1024,1536,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1365%2C2048&ssl=1",1365,2048,true],"mbt_book_image":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=533%2C800&ssl=1",533,800,true],"mbt_endorsement_image":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=267%2C400&ssl=1",267,400,true],"theme-large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1170%2C1755&ssl=1",1170,1755,true],"theme-half":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=571%2C857&ssl=1",571,857,true],"theme-third":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=371%2C557&ssl=1",371,557,true],"theme-fourth":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=271%2C407&ssl=1",271,407,true],"theme-thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=200%2C200&ssl=1",200,200,true]},"post_excerpt_stackable":"

    My main issue with fiction, written in first person, is interior dialogue. Often interior dialogue is self-serving\u2014or rather author-serving.<\/p>\n","category_list":"Infused with Meaning by Kidd Wadsworth<\/a>","author_info":{"name":"Kidd Wadsworth","url":"https:\/\/www.asliceoforange.net\/author\/kidd-wadsworth\/"},"comments_num":"0 comments","featured_image_urls_v2":{"full":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1707%2C2560&ssl=1",1707,2560,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=70%2C70&ssl=1",70,70,true],"medium":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=200%2C300&ssl=1",200,300,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=768%2C1152&ssl=1",768,1152,true],"large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=683%2C1024&ssl=1",683,1024,true],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1024%2C1536&ssl=1",1024,1536,true],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1365%2C2048&ssl=1",1365,2048,true],"mbt_book_image":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=533%2C800&ssl=1",533,800,true],"mbt_endorsement_image":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=267%2C400&ssl=1",267,400,true],"theme-large":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=1170%2C1755&ssl=1",1170,1755,true],"theme-half":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=571%2C857&ssl=1",571,857,true],"theme-third":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=371%2C557&ssl=1",371,557,true],"theme-fourth":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?fit=271%2C407&ssl=1",271,407,true],"theme-thumbnail":["https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.asliceoforange.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/12\/valentin-salja-0aX51h4WvAk-unsplash-scaled.jpg?resize=200%2C200&ssl=1",200,200,true]},"post_excerpt_stackable_v2":"

    My main issue with fiction, written in first person, is interior dialogue. Often interior dialogue is self-serving\u2014or rather author-serving.<\/p>\n","category_list_v2":"Infused with Meaning by Kidd Wadsworth<\/a>","author_info_v2":{"name":"Kidd Wadsworth","url":"https:\/\/www.asliceoforange.net\/author\/kidd-wadsworth\/"},"comments_num_v2":"0 comments","yoast_head":"\nINTERIOR DIALOGUE by Kidd Wadsworth<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"My main issue with fiction, written in first person, is interior dialogue. 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