Even Sleeping Beauty wouldn’t have gotten a wink of sleep at the RWA 2012 Conference in Anaheim near Disneyland. I didn’t. I was as busy as the Mad Hatter running from workshop to workshop and shooting video. Lots of video. 12 GB worth. That’s 12 billion bytes as in billion.
This week I’m going to spotlight three of my favorite RITA award winners, beginning with OCC’s own TESSA DARE!! Super congrats, Tessa, well deserved.
Tessa Dare, winner of the RITA for “A Night to Surrender” — her thank you to her hubby is beautiful.
Joanna Bourne’s wonderful tribute to teachers everywhere in her RITA speech for “The Black Hawk”
And here is the video everyone is talking about…
Ann Aguirreâ€™s RITA speech for YA “Enclave” including her now infamous “interpretive dance.”
Now if you’ll excuse me, like Snow White’s dwarf, Sleepy, I’m…going to…take a nap…zzzzzzzzzzz
by Evelyn Q. Darling
Romance Reporter At Large
Is your romance novel heroine qualified for the job?
Did you interview her before you started writing? I donâ€™t mean where she went to school, what her favorite color is, etc. but whether or not sheâ€™s qualified for the job as a romance novel heroine.
For example, does she have the skills needed to perform her job: Can she shoot a Glock if youâ€™re writing an FBI agent? Lace up a corset if sheâ€™s interviewing for the job as a Victorian ladyâ€™s maid?
Or she may be overqualified for the job. For example, she can type faster than you or she has aspirations to leave the romance novel field and get a literary gig.
How long has she been out of work?
Romance novel jobs are hard to get and if itâ€™s been decades since she slipped between the pages of a novel, you might want to reconsider. On the other hand, experience between the sheets is important for every romance heroine.
A typical interview could go like this:
Miss Jones, Iâ€™m writing a novel that takes place during the Regency Period. Are you a fan of Jane Austen?
Miss Jones: Jane who? Iâ€™m so into Lady Gaga. Love her sunglasses.
Miss Smith, my next novel is about an FBI agent whoâ€™s very physically active to catch the bad guys. Can you drop and do twenty?
Miss Smith: the only thing I dropped was twenty pounds to get this interview.
Letâ€™s try again.
Miss von Rittenhaus, I need a romance novel heroine who sleeps all day and bites all night. Can you list your qualifications to be the vamp queen in my new urban fantasy novel?
Miss von Rittenhaus: Honey, I can snooze and cruise with the best of them. Iâ€™ve hit every vamp bar from here to
When can you start?
Miss von Rittenhaus: Tonight. As soon as the sun goes down. (Pause). You havenâ€™t mentioned a benefits package.
What do you mean?
Miss von Rittenhaus: Do I get overtime pay for all this night work? And how about a 401K? Iâ€™m not getting any younger and in this economy a girl, I mean vamp, has to look out for herself. What about my e-rights? And health benefits? What if I chip a fang and I have to see a dentist between chapters?
Jeezâ€¦Romance heroinesâ€¦you canâ€™t write with them and you canâ€™t write without them.
This is Evelyn Q. Darling. Till next time when weâ€™ll interview the romance novel hero and see if heâ€™s up for the job.
The Blonde Samurai: â€œShe embraced the way of the warrior. Two swords. Two loves.â€