A year and a half ago I finally found out what was wrong with me. Problem: middle age womanhood. Bigger problem: this part of life is apparently such a freaking big secret that no one except ONE friend bothered to say a word about it! Not my mom, not my grandma, not my older sister. I literally thought I was losing my mind. In fact, the GP I finally went to see immediately wrote a prescription for HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and another one to make an appointment with a head doctor.
Great. That’s just…great. I guess she was covering all bases.
I’m better now, but partly because now my craziness has a name. Still, I feel like a lunatic half the time. I don’t want to leave my apartment. I don’t like to go to church. (Used to be one of my favorite things, but now there’s just way too many people and too much putting on a smile when I want to say, “That song sucked,” because it probably didn’t suck and I shouldn’t rain on other people’s happy moment.) I do still like going to the library — whew! — but I’m eating too much and drinking too much and swearing way too much.
And even though my problem has a name and I’m trying to find better solutions for me, turns out a lot of my friends don’t have nearly as many problems as I do. That definitely makes me feel alone. And stupid. And like I’m not a nice person because I just want to yell F*** a lot!!
So when my friend and fellow author Maggie Nash told me about a new book that was on sale on Amazon for 99c (it’s still only $2.99!) about a woman going through menopause, I bought it without even reading the description!!!
I just finished it last night. It. Was. Marvellous!!! Even though I’m not divorced and don’t have kids, I felt like I completely related to the main character, Heidi, who almost gets herself fired in the first chapter! I normally don’t like many books with women my age as protagonists because their lives are so unlike mine as to have nothing in common.
But Hot (Not Bothered) by Harper Ford is a super fun book I think you might love!
One other book about a middle-aged woman that I immediately pre-ordered book two the minute I finished book one is Tess Gerritsen’s The Spy Coast. I don’t want to say too much but she’s a retired spy who gets sucked back in!
Some of my friends know I’ve been wearying of writing about 20-somethings falling in love. I’ll finish the two series I started, and maybe I’ll get my mojo/joy back as I do. But the two books above are making me feel like “people like me” aren’t at all boring, and maybe I should write something like that! I’d have to get a pen name if I want to write f*** half as much as I’ve been saying it lately, but it could be worth it!
I hope you check out both of these books! And remember, if you’re going through tough times right now due to brain and body chemistry, you’re not alone! Don’t despair! Talk to a friend, or even a stranger. I went off on a menopause rage rant about the disappearing messages at my credit union the other day and made the middle-aged woman answering laugh out loud, she told me in one of her replies. Yay! Two more women who know they’re not alone! Go read Hot (Not Bothered) and laugh instead of cry!
0 0 Read moreSome days you just need some encouragement.
Since that is one of my primary strengths/gifts, I wanted to focus on that today. 😊 And I hope you’ll feel like sharing encouraging words with the people you’re around today and this month.
If you’re writing, yay! Keep going! Enjoy what you’re creating. It never existed…until you wrote it. That’s amazing!!
If you’re editing, yay! You had words on the page and now you’re making them better. Your readers are going to love what you’re doing today!
If you’re marketing, yay! Keep going and don’t despair! John Wanamaker, U.S. business/religious/political leader, said, “Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don’t know which half.” 😂 So hang in there. Even people richer and more successful than you wish there was a better way to find your audience.
If you’re stuck…well, not yay, but…choose to take a deep breath, phone a friend, take a walk, write some nonsense, read a book, watch a movie, do something ridiculous for fun. And then, hopefully, yay! You’ll start to move again.
If you’ve got health issues…again, not yay, but I bet it could be worse. If you’ve got extreme health issues, I’m very sorry because that probably didn’t make you feel better. But there is always something to be grateful for. A friend’s brother fell in his assisted living apartment and was in the hospital for a week, and then has to be in a different care facility and can’t go back “home” to his assisted living apartment until he’s better. He’s very upset. Of course! But I couldn’t help but think, thank God he was able to afford an assisted living apartment where someone checks on you every couple hours. Thank God he had good enough insurance to get proper hospital care for a week. Thank God it will cover extra care for a while. Thank God he has friends and family in the same town to be with him and support him! Soooo many things to be grateful for, even though sometimes you really have to look.
My own health issues have improved — thank God!! But they bring about new problems I have to learn to deal with. My hormones have regulated (due to HRT, and probably less stress and better nutrition and exercise and rest) and I feel at about 90% of where I was ten years ago before it all started changing. YAY!! But now I try to push myself to 110% to try to make up for lost time. And then the next day, depending on how hard and how long I overdid it, I’m down to 80% or 50% or 20%. 😢 It’s hard to accept that I’m doing this to myself so I’m the one who has to change my actions. But I thank God that I’m paying attention enough to see what’s working and what’s not and keep trying to create a schedule that works for me.
By the way, did you know — October is Menopause Awareness Month, at least in the U.K. And October 18 specifically is World Menopause Day. The aim is to “to break taboo and improve women’s health and wellbeing by raising awareness about the symptoms of menopause and the support options available.” https://menopausefriendly.co.uk/world-menopause-day-2024/
I am thrilled to say there is a growing amount of support material — books, videos, groups, medical supplements and medications — far more than I could find no matter how much Googling I did a couple years ago. If you have any friends or relatives who seem particularly crabby or down and they’re the right age and gender, think of something encouraging to say to them today. Keep in mind, the vast majority of people still find the subject taboo and embarrassing, so choose your words with care. Let these women know you care and let them decide how much they want to talk about it with you. Maybe just send an email or text with the above link.
In any case, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, whatever you’re going through in life, good and bad, ups and downs, I wish you well! Find something to be grateful about today, and help someone else find something to be grateful for as well. Maybe you’ll laugh at feeling grateful for each other! And laughter is the best — and most fun! — medicine! I’m praying for you! Big hugs from Sweden! 😃
1 0 Read moreA short post this month to tell you about something new and exciting — RAVE, the Reader Author Vegas Event. If you’re active on the 20BooksVegas Facebook group, you probably know all about this.
The annual 20BooksVegas writers conference has a new owner/manager, Joe Solari, and it’s now called Author Nation. This November is the first conference with the Author Nation name, and the first one I’ll be going to! One of the new things Joe and his team are doing is creating a full-day reader event. (I attended this sort of thing in Vegas in 2012 or 2013 when the guy behind Romance Novel Covers did a conference and reader event. It didn’t work as well as he expected. But I’m hopeful Joe can make it work!)
You have to be an author attending Author Nation to get a table, but then you can put your books in the online store for the RAVE event and start getting presales before the conference. Author Nation and the authors attending will be promoting the site. And guess what? I’m excited to say I’ll be there at a table!!
Here is the link to the Author Nation conference, and here is the link you and your readers can check out for going to RAVE. Additionally, here is The Signing Store where the authors will upload their books (I just signed up so I still have to hurry and get that done!) and where readers can pre-purchase them before the conference so they can get them autographed. 🙂 Do books need to be pre-purchased? No, but if the author doesn’t bring any books or sells out of their table stock…well, readers will have to take the time to purchase them elsewhere and miss out on getting them autographed.
I think that’s everything I know at this point. I’m sure I’ll learn more before my post next month so I’ll keep you updated. And if you know more about any of this, please leave a comment! Will you be at Author Nation this year? If so, let me know!
0 1 Read moreAugust featured author Kitty Bucholtz is a writer, podcaster, and a book coach. She has combined her undergraduate degree in business, her years of experience in accounting and finance, and her graduate degree in creative writing to become a writer-turned-independent-publisher turned coach.
She writes romantic comedy and superhero urban fantasy, often with an inspirational element woven in. She loves to teach and offer advice to writers through her WRITE NOW! Workshop Podcast.
Kitty has also created the Finish Your Books Coaching Program. Find out more about either 1:1 Coaching or Group Coaching on Kitty’s website. http://kittybucholtz.com/
Besides Kitty’s Coaching Program and WRITE NOW! Workshop Podcast, you will find her here at A Slice of Orange on the 9th of each month writing It’s Worth It.
August featured author Kitty Bucholtz is a writer, podcaster, and a book coach. She has combined her undergraduate degree in business, her years of experience in accounting and finance, and her graduate degree in creative writing to become a writer-turned-independent-publisher turned coach.
She writes romantic comedy and superhero urban fantasy, often with an inspirational element woven in. She loves to teach and offer advice to writers through her WRITE NOW! Workshop Podcast.
Kitty has also created the Finish Your Books Coaching Program. Find out more about either 1:1 Coaching or Group Coaching on Kitty’s website. http://kittybucholtz.com/
Besides Kitty’s Coaching Program and WRITE NOW! Workshop Podcast, you will find her here at A Slice of Orange on the 9th of each month writing It’s Worth It.
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More info →A Slice of Orange is an affiliate with some of the booksellers listed on this website, including Barnes & Nobel, Books A Million, iBooks, Kobo, and Smashwords. This means A Slice of Orange may earn a small advertising fee from sales made through the links used on this website. There are reminders of these affiliate links on the pages for individual books.
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