Daily Archives: May 8, 2009

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THINGS THAT MAKE ME GO MMMRUH!

May 8, 2009 by in category Archives tagged as

17 Again? As If.

by Geralyn Ruane

17 Again. Okay, so I went to see the movie twice so far. The plot is riddled with nonsensical gaps, but there’s still plenty of mmmruh to keep me pleasantly distracted for the 102 minutes or so. And sure, the idea intrigues scores of us: if I could do it all over, with what I know now… But the truth is, I wouldn’t be 17 again, not for all the condoms in the vending machine.

Low riders and thongs? So not me. But I remember myself at 17, trying to latch onto any fashion craze I could afford. So I am sure if I got zapped back to high school I’d be squeezing into a G-string for prom. Plus, I had no confidence as a teen and my dating life limped along, hobbled by my bruised psyche. Get this – when I was 17, I dated guys who didn’t love animals!!! And drove gas guzzlers!!! Sure, I was 4 sizes smaller, but what difference does that make? I still felt fat all the time. I was in better shape, but back then my shin splints hurt like hell. And in ’89, I was on the pill, an aspect of Western medicine I’ve completely eschewed since that stroke in ’96.

Truth is, I like the person I’ve evolved into. I’m not done chasing my dreams or shy about conjuring up new ones to pursue. Mmmruh! Sure, I’ve made some mistakes along the way – I think of the chances I should have taken, the houses I didn’t buy, the vaccinations I should have never allowed – but I would not go back. Well, maybe back to that day in the vet’s office. Yes, definitely back there. But other than that, I like my thirties A LOT. Recently, I tutored a college senior, and his place where we studied smelled like college boys. Not a bad smell, just distinctive and immediately recognizable. Oh yeah, and the room was decorated with beer – signs, bottles, cans, posters. AND I WAS SO GLAD I WAS NOT IN COLLEGE ANYMORE. I am also way grateful no longer to be in my twenties. God, was I stupid in my twenties!

You know, I did not go to my 5th, 10th or 15th high school reunions. Why would I? High school was mostly unhappy for me. Plus, I am not the super in-shape best-selling novelist I hoped to be by age 25. But then Jason Smith, a kid from my high school class who is organizing our upcoming reunion, tracked me down through this very OCC Romance Writers’ Blog. He told me about our upcoming reunion and invited me to join our 20th Reunion Website.

Aaaahhh!!!!! But I’m not super in-shape!! I’m not a best-selling novelist!! I haven’t even fucked anyone famous!! I can’t go back!

But Jason worked so hard to find me, and I remembered him as such a nice kid, so I joined the website.

And oh, my goodness gracious! Would you believe that all those kids from my graduating class – we all just grew up to be people! People!! With whom it wasn’t scary at all to reconnect. In fact, catching up with my updated past has been fantastic!

For the first time in my life, I feel completely comfortable in my own skin. Mmmruh! I feel good. I feel right. And all I had to do was face one of my greatest fears – THE KIDS FROM HIGH SCHOOL!!! (You should be hearing the Psycho shower scene music in your head right now.) So now I am going to face another of my shark-eating-me-in-the-ocean-at-night-type fears (cue the Psycho strings.): SENDING MY BOOK OUT TO PUBLISHERS AND AGENTS!!!!!!

I’m going to do it, damn it, and sell my book. Mmmmmruh!


Though our winsome blogger has resigned herself to the stupid loss of her 200 bucks(see her Jnauary’09 blog), she is gratified to see that possible misuse of said 200 bucks is under federal investigation. Other than throwing her money away, Geralyn also appears in the award-winning internet short comedy film Daryl From OnCar and co-hosts the radio show Better Times After 50 on AdviceRadio.com Her short story “Jane Austen Meets the New York Giants” is published in the New York Times Bestselling anthology The Right Words at the Right Time, Volume 2.

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