Oh, Internet! Wherefore art thou!

By Jann Audiss w/a Jann Ryan

Ok, I admit it—I have a love-hate relationship with cable companies and their internet service. What is worse is to realize how really dependent we are on technology. Recently my internet and cable TV went down. Boom. Nothing. Thinking it was just a hiccup, I did my usual routine: unplug the power, count to 10, plug it in again. When that didn’t work, I fixed an ice tea, had a snack to fortify myself, made sure my e-reader was handy and settled in for the adventure of calling my cable company. I have found from past experience to be prepared.

Just before reaching through my phone to strangle the automated attendant (if that were only possible), I was connected to a sweet individual, who I believed was in Texas. After giving her every bit of information about me except for my current weight, we got to the reason for my call. NO SERVICE. To back track just a bit, I did notice a service truck parked outside my home from the cable company, and it had me wondering – coincidence?? Anyway, the nice lady on the phone checked my line from their remote location, found nothing wrong, and set an appointment between 8:00 AM and 12:00 PM for the next day, stating that someone over the age of 18 had to be home. I assured her I was over 18.

I figured, OK we could can live for a day with no service. We have cell phones and the family could watch DVDs. Remember that truck? Just for the heck of it, my sister walked around the corner to check with the service repairman at the main station box to see if by chance he was working on the line. He grunted and brushed her off and told her he was working on the tract of homes across the street. So we all settled in to wait for the appointment the next day.

By 2:00 PM the next day, I once again started on the road to OZ to find out when the technician was going to arrive for my “early morning” appointment. Forty minutes later, I spoke to another wonderful and informative customer service agent; only to find out she didn’t know anything and couldn’t reach anyone to find out. I asked for a supervisor. Now this guy was good. He could talk in circles better than most. By the end of our conversation, I finally got him to admit that he also didn’t know anything. However, I was promised someone would be out the next day.

My son, home for the week, searched our DVD library and started a movie marathon. Not being connected to the outside world by TV or Internet felt weird, like being on an island in the middle of the ocean. On day 4, I had watched or listened to all the Die Hard movies, Transformers, The Mummy Trilogy, and we had started on Star Wars. I became friends with most of the people in the Texas office, and told them to be sure to call if they were ever in Anaheim so we could get together to catch up on the family.

Finally on day 5, Frank Your Helpful Cable Guy arrived in the late afternoon. The connection running from the street to the house was fine and my interior wiring was good to go. We told him the story about the cable guy who had been working on the main utility box the day my service went out, and he told us that was the next place he was going to check. Well, you guessed it. The “new technician” who had been working on the box 5 days ago disconnected my line by mistake. Don’t you just love it? Why couldn’t that idiot have taken the time to check my line when my sister told him we just lost our cable connection?

Needless to say, we were back up and running that evening, which was a good thing. I didn’t want to follow the RITA ceremony at the RWA National Conference on Twitter from my cell phone.