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All about Eve…

During a difficult dating phase in my youth (single and looking) I felt I’d set the bar for boy behavior about as low as it could go (on the ground).

But it kept being too high to clear in terms of what seemed like basic human decency. It was a bit depressing. At the time, I was thinking: WTF? (but without the acronym).

Indeed films of the era, like Unmarried Woman, confirmed that after dumping their wives of decades, guys mostly just traded in for a new model, whereas women were left holding the family together, coping with lost income, lost self-esteem, and taking a long and difficult journey to reconnect to their sense of self.

Guys remarried and started a fresh new replacement family, no remorse (though if the new wife turns out not to treat him quite as well as the earlier model, there may be some self-centered regret).

Males in general seemed to find a simpler way to negotiate the universe. Direct, uncomplicated, without self-doubt, self-questioning, able to dismiss mistakes and move on….Clueless. Happy.

Drove me crazy.

Then I thought about Genesis and how the Bible presents paradise as an innocent world. An ignorant world. Clueless. Happy.

Within that world view, the “Original Sin” that humankind is cursed with, is the sin of disobedience. Though I must note the particularly poignant fact is that when you look up “original sin,” it is referenced as “Adam’s sin” in eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. And as you knowâ€”per the Bibleâ€”Eve got there first and is vilified because of her actions. But in terms of history, it is his actions that are referenced, because, really, he’s the only one that counts.

So I was thinking about the “curse,” and that it was not just the “sin” of disobedience, but the declared “sin” of desiring the knowledge of good and evil. The desire to know more, to understand more, to open the door to informationâ€”with all its responsibilities, challenges and demands.

To stop being ignorant and be aware, accountable. To go beyond the self and not only appreciate your impact on others, but to acknowledge that you have choices. And that you are accountable for making those choices, and responsible for the consequences of your actions.

You have taken a bite, and the knowledge of good and evil is now inescapably part of who you are. It is a burden. It is a gift.

So during these difficult dating times, I wondered why women, on balance, seem to suffer more, be more aware, and often got the short end of the stick. It didn’t seem fair.

But then I reflected on Genesis and was helped by the following insight: Eve took a bite of the apple from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil before Adam did.

And it seemed that that Eve’s first mover statusâ€”in reaching greater awareness and thus greater responsibility, sometimes greater painâ€”were metaphorically (and actually) carried forward though life. Women are cursedâ€”or blessedâ€”with the ability to tell the difference between good and evil just a little bit sooner, a little bit more than most men.

That was a helpful metaphor for me in explaining the fact that women are usually just a bit ahead of the game in that area.

And even more helpful when I asked myself the big question: would you rather be blissfully ignorant and happy, or accept the burden of knowledge, even if it might bring unhappiness?

My answer: If I had a choice, I would bite the apple. Despite the cost, no question.

Romances have always inspired me in their acknowledgement of that emotional burden. Reinforcing that we are not alone. Giving the support and validation to keep carrying it forward, with all its challenges.

Isabel Swift

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Wishing everyone a Festive Holiday Season and a Happy New Year!

December 24, 2015 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as Isabel Swift

I will not break into all the possible “holiday” options you might be experiencing (or not). Just like in Sleeping Beauty, if you try to invite “all” the fairies, you will be sure to leave one out, and the thirteenth fairy will come to your baby’s christening and curse you all. So really, don’t go there.

I figure you can just wish anybody the best from wherever you are coming from. It’s the only solid ground you have. So whatever you celebrate, wish that happiness on others. If you don’t celebrate anything, then I believe Mr. Dickens has created “Bah, Humbug!” and it is available for use in any denomination.

But I do like to note that the January 1 “New Year” is only one of several options.

I am particularly fond of the Chinese New Year, as it involves animals and great yearly cards and ornaments, not to mention horoscopes. So just to alert you, Chinese New Year is February 8th. It is the Year of the Monkey. Apparently the Chinese Zodiac timing starts a bit before the New Year, on February 4th, and there is a further refinement of 5 elements (one more than other Zodiac of 4: Earth, Air, Fire, Water). Here the five elements are Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, Water. Apparently Air is not an essential element. Perhaps a mistake.

Isabel Swift

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In My Day…

June 24, 2015 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as blue jeans, Isabel Swift, Levis

I was looking for a pair of normal jeans and not having much luck. So I went into the giant Levi shop (All Levis All The Time) filled with hope! Surely Levi would be able to deliver a pair of regular jeans.

Think again.

Fabric dark, cheap feeling, and like ever other jean product available on the market “stylishly” torn, big holes at knees or strange white blobs of wear on the legs in places that would never, naturally, get worn.

Or multiple peculiar holes all over, as if they’d been left hanging in some automatic weapons firing range and had been peppered good. Or both…

I look at the young clerk and confessed: “You know, I just feel it is my job to wear out my own jeans. It doesn’t seem right to have it contracted out to some machine or child laborer.”

He nodded sympathetically. (The customer is always right).

Yes, in my day we had active lives. We did stuff. We wore holes in our jeans without any outside help. Yep, not even from our disinterested non-helicopter parents.

Our jeans were authentic. Artisanal. Indeed the work was just about as local as you could get.

When you look at the language being used now to market and enhance our present possessions, foods and lifestyle, beneath the words, you can hear this wild, inchoate cry against the virtualness of much of our present existence: instant, effortless, convenient. But somehow insubstantial, unsatisfying.

Unearned.

Isabel Swift

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Isabel Swift comments on the lessons of Rudolf, the red-nosed reindeer

November 24, 2011 by Isabel Swift in category From Isabel Swift tagged as Isabel Swift, lessons, Rudolf

Some years ago I did a post on Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer. It’s a song that always troubled me, as it seemed so out of keeping with the general aspiration holiday cheer.

Rudolf, the Red-nosed Reindeer is such a straightforward statement that if you are or look different, others will ridicule, shun, humiliate and reject you. As you may recall, the other reindeer “laugh and call him names/They never let poor Rudolph/join in any reindeer games.”

That is his life until everyone suddenly discovers that the very thing that made him different will in fact deliver a unique and crucial skill that will overcome what had been an insurmountable obstacle. Of course, “Then all the reindeer loved him/as they shouted out with glee,/Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,/you’ll go down in history!”

Clearly, for some people, anyone that is different is seen as a threat.

Perhaps some people assume if something is different it must be an enemy (?)

Perhaps some people think that, since they are perfect, anyone that doesn’t resemble them is less than perfect, and must be eliminated (?)

Perhaps some people think they are perfect, thus everyone else must also think they are perfect, so their differences are in conflict, and are an alarming threat to some people’s own belief system, sense of self-satisfaction and comfort (?)

But some people appreciate differences in others.

Perhaps they respond to the fact that evolutionary theory rewards those species that have variety, as it gives them more options for species survival to respond more effectively to a changing world. If a species becomes too uniform, then one problem can wipe out the entire species, because all are equally vulnerable (?)

Perhaps they realize that variety enhances survival because not everyone wants the same thing at the same time, diminishing competition and allowing peaceful coexistence (?)

Perhaps they have internalized the Rudolf lesson, that the very things that make someone different will offer key skills to the team, and make the sum far greater than each individual partâ€”a central theme in romances (?)

And clearly, the trial by fire that so many live through in environments that penalize differences can forge powerful, creative and remarkable human beings.

But it is hard on the young. For the lessons we learn in Kindergarten are not pretty and many live their whole lives trying to overcome or find forgiveness for what happened then.

In an effort to prevent teen suicides among kids with gender and sexuality issues there are resources. It gets better.org or The Trevor Project are two.

The focus there is gender, but the basic issue is the same. Being different may not be an easy road, but it gets betterâ€”even for Rudolf. And adults have only to pause for an instant to think of all the people who were “different” that have transformed their lives and the world around them and value and support the gift of being different.

Here’s hoping that the coming season gives us all things to be thankful forâ€”the gift of acceptingâ€”indeed of celebrating our differences. For therein lies our strength.

Isabel Swift

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eReaders–Isabel Swift wonders: what’s with the “But I love BOOKS” response?

October 24, 2011 by Isabel Swift in category From Isabel Swift tagged as eBooks, eReaders, iPad, Isabel Swift, Kindle, reading

I’m sure you’ve had the same experience–or have been one of the players in this conversation.

But first, a bit of backgroundâ€¦.

In addition to being VP of editorial for Harlequin, over a decade ago I also chaired a digital/eBook task force charged with exploring this new business opportunity. Additionally, much later, I was part of the new business group launching a number of new digital initiatives. So I guess what I’m trying to say is: I swing both ways. And in the course of my work, I had a lot of conversations with people–readers, writers, booksellers, digital entrepreneurs. Today, I still love to find out what people are reading–and how they are reading.

Back to the present. So, I’m at a dinner party, or cocktail party, or just striking up a conversation in line or traveling–and the subject of books and reading comes up. Often one person has an eReader (frequently a Kindle, sometimes an iPad or other eReader) and is either extolling its virtues, or reluctantly (or not) going through the learning curve.

Someone else invariably chimes in (sometimes with passionate intensity) “But I love BOOKS! I could NEVER get an eReader!” Then they go on a bit about the smell, turning the pages & the multitude of pleasures, information and sensation that a physical object offers. The self-confessed eReader reader is given the hairy eyeball, or at best, a pitying look. Emotions can (and have) run high over this line in the sand, this perceived chasm.

And don’t get me wrong–I love books too. Physical books. But I am stumped as to why there is such a prevalent and passionate assumption that physical Vs digital is an either/or choice. Like once you purchase an eReader, a scarlet TTTWW (for Traitor To The Written Word) will be emblazoned on your forehead and a magnetic force field will drop down (visually similar to the Cone of Silence in Get Smart) preventing you from ever touching another physical book with your dirty digital hands. You have not remained faithful to the books that raised you–dipping your wick elsewhere is clearly felt to be a relationship ender.

Huh? I just don’t get it. My reading world is not monogamous! I believe in choice! I love stories. I love storytellers. Books have not changed my life–stories have, with their information, insights, compelling worlds, emotional challenges and eye opening truths. Stories that are shared though listening (conversation, audio, radio, lectures,…), seeing (performance, films, TV, museums,â€¦) or reading (books, newspapers, magazines, documents, letters,â€¦).

Yes, the story’s trasmission vehicle can make a difference in the impact of a story. Watching the Rolling Stones’ Steel Wheels concert live Vs at an IMAX theatre with rabid fans Vs on a DVD alone at home delivers quite different experiences. Reading a hardcover, paperback, listening to the story on audio, reading it on an eReader all deliver a different experience.

Sure, there may be preferred formats for certain stories. Haven’t you heard people say “You don’t need to see that movie in a theater, it’ll be fine on DVD”? I assure you watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show live at midnight is a great example of the transformative impact of how you experience a story Vs sitting at home with the remote.

But everyone understands the benefits of access, choice, convenience. As a reader, I don’t like to be without something to read. And while I am usually a fairly committed reader, I must confess I’m not entirely monagamous. As a frequent traveller I have found myself lugging stacks of material: manuscripts, educational/business reading, fun reading, recommended reading, themeatically appropriate reading, books 2 and 3 in the series, just in caseâ€¦ You know what I’m talking about!

Now I can have everything on one slim tablet and people no longer ask me if I am carrying rocks in my suitcase. Maybe I’ll have a paperback in my purse too–cheerful in the knowledge if I tire of it or finish it, I have other options. Bedtime reading with sleeping spouse can cease to be an issue with a back-lit iPad. And another interesting aspect of the digital reading experience is product privacy. No one knows what you’re reading.

(Though for some that could be a drawback, as looking intellectual, educated, in-the-know and generally superior could be the key driver behind plowing through an improving literary tome. But surely a secondary market will spring up of sheaths for one’s tablet that will say perhaps: “Don’t bother me…Riveted by Rushdie!” or “Intellect @ Play” or “I’m improving myself. And you?”)

Alternatively, maybe you really don’t mind carrying two or three volumes around in your gigantic purse. Perhaps you are unmoved by the ability to download a recommended read instantly at the dinner table in The-Back-of-Beyond. Unlike me, perhaps you may have a house filled with empty shelves, just waiting to be filled, with your other bookshelves are stacked with easy-to-find, easy-to-search titles. But that is not my world.

So enough with this “I love BOOKS!”. Of course you do. But I love storiesâ€¦.

Isabel Swift

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