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Love and Marriage and All That Madness by Kitty Bucholtz

May 9, 2013 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as It's Worth It, Kitty Bucholtz, Little Miss Lovesick, Louisa Bacio, Moonlit Encounters, Romancing the Pages, Unexpected Superhero

It’s funny how many accidents create ah-ha moments. What would we do without penicillin and Post-It notes?

I’ve been trying to figure out for two years how to write interesting, entertaining blog posts that are similar enough to my book-writing style to encourage blog readers to become book readers. Then last month I had an ah-ha moment.

I’d written a funny article for the OCC RWA newsletter encouraging people to sign up to enter or judge the Orange Rose Contest for Unpublished Writers. Then I wrote a funny guest post on Louisa Bacio’s blog about How Hotel Sex Turned Me Into a Romantic Comedy Writer. I mentioned to several people that I love writing this kind of silly fun article, but I didn’t have an outlet for it anymore.

D’oh! Yes, I did! Um, blog, sitting there, waiting for me to be brilliant!

So this week I started a new column on Mondays called Marriage Madness. Since I write stories with fun romances in them, and since Sunday was my (gasp!) 23rd wedding anniversary, it seemed like I’d finally found an interesting and entertaining topic that might lead my blog readers to my books.

Whether my tactic will work remains to be seen. But I’m having such fun writing about all the good, bad, and hilarious things that I’ve seen in marriage! Coming up will be the “tornadoes in trailer parks” story, the “will she walk into that light pole” story, the “65 days of no cooking” story, the “how to never argue” story, and many more.

If you’ve met my husband, John, you’ll understand in about a minute and a half why I write romances – and why all my heroes are tall, dark, and sexy – I mean, handsome! 😉 And if you haven’t met him yet, you’ll feel you know him pretty quickly when you read about his shenanigans.

If you like reading fun, romantic stories, stop by Marriage Madness every Monday. And if you’re a writer trying to figure out how to write blog posts your potential book readers would be interested in…well, I suggest you look for something to trip over. 😉

Kitty Bucholtz decided to combine her undergraduate degree in business, her years of experience in accounting and finance, and her graduate degree in creative writing to become a writer-turned-independent-publisher. Her first novel, Little Miss Lovesick, is now available in print and ebook format. Her next novel, Unexpected Superhero, will be released May/June 2013, followed by Love at the Fluff and Fold this summer. Her short stories can be found in the anthologies Romancing the Pages and Moonlit Encounters, available in both print and ebook formats.

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WonderCon: My First Comic Book Convention

April 9, 2013 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as It's Worth It, Kitty Bucholtz, WonderCon

I’ve been wanting to go to a comic book convention for a long time, probably since I first starting writing my own superhero novel. Last month, I finally got to go! My husband John took me to WonderCon in Anaheim. It was so much fun!

Of course, the first thing you notice (after trying to stay in a good mood for the hour it took to park in Anaheim) is all the people in costume. There were so many different kinds of characters with costumes that went from homemade to super-wow! My geek factor isn’t deep enough for me to be able to recognize who everyone was, but there were a lot of Doctor Who characters, lots of manga-like girls, lots of superheroes (of course!), and a quite a few steampunk costumes. And lots of other things that I couldn’t figure out.

Tom King, author of A ONCE CROWDED SKY, and me

John told me I should walk around the booths at the Expo and talk to authors who had tables there, find out if it was worth the time and expense. I had about half a dozen business cards in my wallet; I figured that would cover meeting the other writers. Boy, was I wrong. There were a lot of writers there! Some who wrote mostly novels, some who wrote mostly comic books, and some who wrote both. I ran out of business cards long before I ran out of writers to talk to.

I’ve been to enough RWA conferences, both regional and national, to know the rhythm and to fit myself into the flow. There are lots of reasons why that is a good thing, but you no longer walk around with saucer eyes. At WonderCon, I was definitely Saucer-Eyed Girl! It was a totally new experience. Everything I saw made me think differently about stories, writers, and readers.

If you’ve been in your usual groove for a while, it’s time to go see the world differently. Go to a different kind of conference or expo for a day. See who’s out there buying comic books, buying boats, doing brain surgery. If nothing else, watch YouTube videos on something you know nothing about. (I just watched one about how the length of your chromosomes may determine how much life expectancy you have left.)

New experiences literally change how your brain makes connections. I’ve been reading a lot of books on brain science in the last year. Want to change your brain? Improve its function? Even read something way outside your known world. All these things improve your ability to see the world differently. That’s not only fun, it’s good for your writing.

Kitty Bucholtz decided to combine her undergraduate degree in business, her years of experience in accounting and finance, and her graduate degree in creative writing to become a writer-turned-independent-publisher. Her first novel, Little Miss Lovesick, is now available in print and ebook format. Her next novel, Unexpected Superhero, will be released soon, followed by Love at the Fluff and Fold this summer. Her short stories can be found in the anthologies Romancing the Pages and Moonlit Encounters, available in both print and ebook formats.

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Your Authentic YOU

March 9, 2013 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as It's Worth It, Kitty Bucholtz, Little Miss Lovesick, Moonlit Encounters, Right-Brain Business Plan, Romancing the Pages, Unexpected Superhero

Over the last few months, I’ve been getting a ton of coaching and encouragement from Jennifer Lee and all my new friends in the Right-Brain Business Plan mentorship program. We’ve learned so much, but the two things that have hit me hardest are:

Fail fast and often if you must, but JUST DO IT
Be your authentic self and it will lead to success

Both of them have a bit of the “scary” in the proposed action!

I am one who tends not to try something rather than risk failing at it. At least I used to be that person. Recently, I’ve jumped into some things that I had been waiting on before, waiting for when I had more time or more money or more knowledge. I started a newsletter. I made a video. I promised to teach a class this summer called “Restart” that only exists in my head so far.

But the second piece that bit me hard and won’t let go is this idea of being your authentic self. I’ve been very slowly working in that direction since I graduated from high school. I wasn’t a big fan of “me” at the time. I figured when I went away to college, no one would know who I was so I could create a new and improved “me.” I’d guess this is pretty common for young people. 🙂

I’m pretty happy with myself in general now, but I’m still a “good girl.” I mostly stick to the rules, I look for ways to help others, even at my own expense, and I try to keep a lid on the things people say they don’t want to know about.

But that isn’t completely authentic, is it? I’ve compartmentalized myself to a degree, and I don’t always like it. For one thing, it’s hard to remember what I allow myself to say when I’m with this group of people versus that group. Some of that holding back is good because I prefer not to offend my friends. 🙂 Other times, I’m not sure there is any benefit to following the crowd.

This past week I made a decision to stop trying to keep the spiritual side of myself out of my business, out of my web site, out of my social media presence. I’d been trying my best to follow the “don’t talk about religion or politics” rule in my business (writing), but it wasn’t working that well anyway. It was like telling me I can talk about any part of my body except my left foot. It’s a part of me, necessary for normal living, and great for having fun (dancing, skipping, foot massages).

I followed that rule partly because I didn’t want to offend anyone. I don’t want my friends to think I’m a Jesus freak, afraid that I might try to baptize them when they aren’t looking. Neither do I want them to think I’m just playing at being a Christian, that it’s not real to me because I use bad language sometimes, and have sex and violence in some of my books.

For the last fifteen years, I’ve not entirely fit into the romance writers world, where I’m probably seen as a bit of a prude, nor the Christian fiction market, where I’m probably seen as too worldly and a bit shocking. The answer to why my books haven’t sold to traditional publishing houses lies here. I’ve spent these years overcoming my worry that my writing is too diluted for any market. It’s true that I don’t have enough sex and steaminess for most of the popular romance lines and subgenres. And I don’t have the right storytelling mix for the Christian market either.

But there is a market for my books. I’m just calling them Kitty books now. 🙂 They are about women like me who live lives similar to mine, who worry about the things I worry about, and care about the things I care about.

On Monday, I posted to my blog that I am going to start being my real, authentic, whole self. The last part of me that has felt like it has to stay partly hidden is my spiritual side. So I’m going to stop trying to keep God out of the public side of my business life just because I don’t want to offend anyone. I know my books will offend some of my Christian friends and some of my non-Christian friends. But I’m going to be real now, more so than I’ve ever been.

I’m not a shock-jock; I won’t try to offend people just to make an impact. But I’m not going to be afraid to say, “I love Jesus! He rocks!” or “I love sex! It’s the best thing God ever made!” (Well, I might still be nervous about it, but I’m going to do it anyway if I feel like it!) I’m going to be wholly me for a change.

And like the characters in my books, “me” will definitely change and grow with time. But I think the changes and growth are going to be more wonderful than they ever could’ve been before I made this decision. I’m a little scared of what mean things people will say (because we all know that happens). I’m a little nervous that I’ll lose my nerve. But mostly I’m getting more excited every day!

The comments on my blog post are so encouraging and come from so many different kinds of people that I can’t help but want to reach out and encourage others to take a step toward being their most authentic self. If you aren’t yet the person you want to be, if you’re holding something back, consider letting go! Integrate all the parts of yourself. Be real.

Be your authentic YOU!

Kitty Bucholtz decided to combine her undergraduate degree in business, her years of experience in accounting and finance, and her graduate degree in creative writing to become a writer-turned-independent-publisher. Her first novel, Little Miss Lovesick, is now available in print and ebook format. Her next novel, Unexpected Superhero, will be released March 28, followed by Love at the Fluff and Fold this summer. Her short stories can be found in the anthologies Romancing the Pages and Moonlit Encounters, available in both print and ebook formats.

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What Does Love Mean? by Kitty Bucholtz

February 9, 2013 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as It's Worth It, Kitty Bucholtz, love, romance

Valentine’s Day is coming up and I won’t be with my husband, I’ll be on a writing trip with friends. I’m not too worried about it though. I mostly think of Valentine’s Day as a Hallmark holiday.

That being said, I don’t think you can say “I love you” too much. You never know when it will be the last time, but more than that, expressing to someone that you love them forms and shapes and repairs the foundation of your relationship.

But what does it mean?

This year, the day before Valentine’s Day is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent in the Christian faith. Lent is a time of repentance, turning from the wrongs of the past, and pressing closer to God. It’s a reminder that God loves us so much that he’d be willing to take a bullet to keep us safe.

That’s the kind of love many romance writers weave into their stories every day. It’s most obvious in romantic suspense where one person can literally take a bullet for the other. But it’s in all the other stories where someone says, I’m sorry, I made a mistake, and the other person says, I forgive you because I love you. And then they grow closer than ever.

I love those stories!

Some people theorize that the reason people respond to stories of love and sacrifice and forgiveness and happily ever after is because we are wired that way. Our enjoyment of such stories opens our hearts to the possibility that those tales represent the Truth of why we are here. We are loved, we made mistakes, a sacrifice was made on our behalf so that we wouldn’t be lost forever, forgiveness was offered, and happily ever after is ours for eternity.

That’s a pretty amazing love story. Loved forever. I want that.

Much as I can’t wait for my writing trip, I’m going to miss my husband. I’ll miss waking up beside him every morning, trying to be the first one to say “I love you.” I’ll miss how much he makes me laugh. And as much as I’ll try to deny it, I’ll miss how much he teases me to the point of losing my mind.

Because somewhere in the layers of all of those things, I’ve found a taste of what love is all about – someone who sacrifices to make my life better, who always forgives me, who wants to be with me forever, no matter what.

Love is the answer to why I am here. It’s the answer to why I write about love.

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Time For a Do-Over by Kitty Bucholtz

January 10, 2013 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as It's Worth It, Kitty Bucholtz, Romancing the Pages

One of my favorite things about January is getting a whole new year’s worth of do-overs. I loved do-overs as a kid, and I love them even more now. This past year has easily been my worst – three family members died, and over a dozen of my friends’ family members died. And that was just one part of how my year went badly.

Lena, the heroine of “Rescue at Loon Lake”, my story in the anthology Moonlit Encounters, found it difficult to get past her husband’s death while living in the same city. She decides to move to a new town for her do-over. Sometimes that works, but for most people it doesn’t.

A few years ago, I came up with a method that works for me: hitting the restart button. Any of us can hit the restart button at any time of the day, any day of the year. We just need to remember that the button exists.

Restart Your Attitude
The most important tool in your toolbox is your attitude because your attitude affects everything else. It is also one of your most vulnerable tools. When you catch your attitude taking a dive, stop for a mental moment and hit the restart button.

When you’re careful to keep your attitude positive, the parts of your life that are going well will go even smoother. And when life gets rough, a healthy attitude will keep you from getting totally beat up. It’s not always easy, but you can hit that restart button as many times as you need to. A few weeks after my mom’s death, I was hitting it a couple times an hour. It’s part of what kept me from getting caught in a riptide of grief.

Restart Your Actions
Everything you spend your time doing builds who you are. Your actions build your intellect, your career, your character. What you don’t do also shapes who you become. Getting caught up in the thousands of possibilities of 21st century life can derail even our best intentions. Derailment happens to me regularly – unless I remember to hit the restart button.

: Goal!

Over time, I’ve accumulated and shared all the time management and goal-setting information I’ve tried. Every January, I teach an online class to help other writers find the methods of “getting things done” that work for them. When you try something new and it doesn’t work, hit restart. When you keep doing what you know doesn’t work, hit restart. The button never wears out, no matter how often you find yourself using it.

Restart Your Commitment
Your attitude and your actions are important, but you also need to keep yourself committed to your goals and plans. It’s fine to change your mind, but if you change it over and over again, you won’t make any real progress in a given direction.

Feel like giving up? Hit the restart button. What is one tiny thing you can do today that keeps you committed to your purpose? What are the top three things? Don’t let yourself be intimidated by your multi-page To Do list (I know I’m not the only one), just take a deep breath and remind yourself why you decided this is the path you want to be on (whatever that path is).

It’s going to be January for three more weeks. Lots of time to work on a few do-overs in your life. But remember this for the rest of the year – every morning is also a new start. It’s never too late to work on becoming the person you were always meant to be.

Kitty Bucholtz decided to combine her undergraduate degree in business, her years of experience in accounting and finance, and her graduate degree in creative writing to become a writer-turned-independent-publisher. Her first novel, Little Miss Lovesick, is now available in print and ebook format. Her next novels, Love at the Fluff and Fold and Unexpected Superhero, will be released in 2013. Her short stories can be found in the anthologies Romancing the Pages and Moonlit Encounters, available in both print and ebook format.