John buying his new motorcycle |
You may know that my husband John was in a motorcycle accident four months ago. He broke his leg badly but, as I’m fond of saying, his brain and internal organs are all in their original packaging. He’s alive, and that’s all that really matters to me.
That being said, I was on a major writing roll when the accident happened, and I’ve written very little since. I had my year planned out with my production schedule, speaking schedule, etc. all posted on my calendar in color-coded sticky notes. Those of you who have taken my goal setting and time management class know what I’m talking about. And you also know what I have to do now – hit the restart button and move all the stickies to new dates.
The thing is, that’s not the only hard thing that has happened this year. John’s current project ended (he works in the entertainment industry); we’re packing up our apartment in preparation to move to the next job even though we don’t know when or where that will be; our car decided it can’t go on any longer; and we had another death in the family so we had to put plane tickets on a credit card. There are days when, as blessed as you know you are, life just sucks.
But then one morning as you’re lying in bed trying to figure out how to juggle the day’s tasks, you remember that despite not having been on some of these roads before, you do know what to do. You accept that accidents happen in life – life happens – and you hit the restart button.
You remind yourself that you only have to move through the now. You don’t even have to be sure how you’re going to handle the afternoon. You only have to decide the first thing to do today. Maybe even the first three things. You tell yourself that you choose to be positive in spite of life’s difficulties – because we all know that going through difficult times with a bad attitude only makes it worse.
You keep doing the next thing that needs to be done. On a To Do list that feels a mile long, when you don’t know which is the most important thing to do next, you just choose one. You keep moving. You remember to be grateful for the things that go well, no matter how small. And before you know it, you’ve made it through another day. Not just survived, you had a few moments of thriving – you smiled at a stranger, had a short but nice conversation with a friend or neighbor or family member, you got a few things done that needed to be done.
And soon, you realize that a week has gone by, a month, four months, and you’re still standing. The things that haven’t gotten done, including the book that was to be published months ago that still isn’t finished, they will be done eventually. Life has ebbs and flows, sunny days and storms, accidents and accomplishments, and you have what it takes to get through them all.
You do.
Kitty Bucholtz decided to combine her undergraduate degree in business, her years of experience in accounting and finance, and her graduate degree in creative writing to become a writer-turned-independent-publisher. Her novels, Little Miss Lovesick and Unexpected Superhero, and the free short story, “Superhero in Disguise,” are now available at most online retail sites. Superhero in the Making will be released this summer.
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Kitty Bucholtz decided to combine her undergraduate degree in business, her years of experience in accounting and finance, and her graduate degree in creative writing to become a writer-turned-independent-publisher. Her first novel, Little Miss Lovesick, came out in 2011. Her new novel, Unexpected Superhero, book one in The Adventures of Lewis & Clarke humorous urban fantasy series, is now available in print and ebook format. Superhero in the Making and Love at the Fluff and Fold (book one in The Strays of Loon Lake romantic comedy series) will be released in mid-2014. Her short stories can be found in the anthologies Romancing the Pages and Moonlit Encounters, available in both print and ebook formats. “Superhero in Disguise” is a free short story at Amazon, iTunes, Smashwords, and other retail sites.
During the holiday season, I always struggle to keep up with my writing routines while also adding in extra time with family, parties, Christmas events at church, additional baking, and more. Over the years, I’ve found a few things work well for enjoying the holidays with less stress without quitting my writing job for a month or two.
You know the aphorism: “if you want to get something done, ask a busy person.” ?
Well, I am here to say: “So True!”
and
“Let me explain!”
Because why is it true? Why is asking a not-busy person–a seemingly obvious choice–so challenging and problematic?
Well, let me walk you through it. Let’s just say you have nothing to do and someone (a spouse with a full time job, perhaps) approaches you with a task: a request to pick up some dry-cleaning. Because hey, you’re not doing anything, right?
“Honey, could you pick up the dry-cleaning? I have a million things I have to do & don’t have the time,” they’d ask.
What has just happened?
Well, your workload has just increased…one hundred percent (100%) !
You’re laughing, but that is exactly what it feels like.
Because what is not appreciated is that in addition to a massive workload increase, by taking on that task, numerous other tasks will have to join it. It can be overwhelming.
Because now you have to…
– get up, take off your pajamas, take a shower
– dry off, select and put on clothes, do makeup, brush hair
– find the laundry ticket, money, the dry cleaner’s address
– figure out how to get there: drive, walk, bus, etc., figure out when to leave
– research the route, or figure to park,
– mentally prepare yourself to encounter numerous strangers and unpredictable people, respond to questions
– gather articles, transact business, carry everything back & put everything away
It’s exhausting to think about.
Whereas if you had a hundred things to do, one more is only 1/100th. Often, that’s what it feels like.
And while everyone has an upper limit, usually one more thing is nothing. You’re already up, showered, shaved and out the door. Depending on location, there are a number of slots that picking up the dry cleaning would fit into–on the way to work, at lunch, on the way back; it’s just a brief detour, no trouble at all, really!
Somewhat frighteningly, often the less you do, the less you can do. And the more you do, the more you can do.
So lighten your load with care, or nothing will get done.
Isabel Swift
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More info →A Slice of Orange is an affiliate with some of the booksellers listed on this website, including Barnes & Nobel, Books A Million, iBooks, Kobo, and Smashwords. This means A Slice of Orange may earn a small advertising fee from sales made through the links used on this website. There are reminders of these affiliate links on the pages for individual books.
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