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Bond…James Bond.

December 13, 2008 by in category Archives tagged as ,

By Bobbie Cimo

It’s easy to tell that I’m a James Bond freak. Not only does my E-mail address have 007 in it and my mouse pad has Sean Connery’s picture on it, but my screen saver at work flashes different Bond imagery across it. But I’m not just a James Bond fan, I’m a Sean Connery, James Bond fan. You know the type who thinks there’s only one Bond.

At my Artist Way Class a few weeks back, we were asked to write down five of our favorite movies and give a line or two on what each movie was about or why we liked it. On my list was “From Russia With Love”, but when it came to telling why I picked it, I had to be honest with my classmates. I only went to see him (Sean Connery) and it took me five times to figure out what the plot was about. I have since seen it many more times, and I still don’t care about the plot.

I like Roger Moore, but not as James Bond. In my eyes, he’ll always be Simon Templar, TV’s version of “The Saint”. Just as Pierce Brosnan will always be Remington Steele to me.

In between, there were a few other Bonds. One being George Lazenby, who played in “On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.” I would loved to have seen Sean Connery do the part, as it was the only movie where Bond falls in love and gets married. But instead it went to Lazenby, who had thought that by making a Bond flick, it would lead him to more lucrative movie deals. So he quit after only one Bond movie. The parts never came his way and rumor had it he gambled away all the earnings he made from his 007 flick, even before the movie was released.

Also playing the fictional character was Timothy Dalton, who I basically remembered from playing in a bad mini-series, called “Scarlett”, which was suppose to be the sequel to “Gone With The Wind”. However, he did play a more serious Bond than others, but because I associated him with the mini-series, I could never think of him as 007.

Just for the record, I do find Daniel Craig to be the second best Bond there is. He might not be a Sean Connery, but he does a terrific job of it. By the way, his favorite Bond is Connery, too.

I have seen Roger Moore a few times in person, and once I even got to see Sean Connery, himself. I was backstage and he was standing alone, a few feet away from me. But I found myself unable to approach him. I just remember his arched eyebrows and how they framed those magnificent eyes of his. And I’m not ashamed to say, when his eyes met mine, inwardly, I melted.

It took me a long time to realize why I didn’t take the opportunity to go up to him and tell him how much I had enjoyed his work. The truth of the matter is I think I was afraid that he might not measure up to my expectation, not only as James Bond, but as Sean Connery. And perhaps some things are best left unknown.

Less than a decade ago, I was a smoker. I have since given up the habit; but at the time, I could have easily stepped out of my office onto the rooftop of CBS for a cigarette. Unfortunately, it was a bad way to meet a lot of interesting people.

One wintry evening, while at work, I found myself in need of a smoke, so I stepped out into the darkness. Since it was raining, I had no choice but to huddle against the outside glass wall of my office so I could stand beneath the narrow awning that was protecting me from the rain. Suddenly, what seemed to be from out of nowhere, appeared a tall, dark stranger dressed all in black, wearing a turtle neck sweater. As he took a puff of his cigarette, he struck up a conversation with me. I could see from the spray of light coming from my office, behind us, that his eyes were blue. His chiseled features, along with his cleft chin, gave him a rugged appearance. And when he spoke, it was with a charming British accent, so no matter what he had to say, it sounded wonderful. It was Timothy Dalton.

We talked about our mutual bad smoking habit– the pride he had in his son– and the weather differences between London and California. Over a second cigarette, we laughed and talked some more, until he was told that he was needed on stage, whereas I went back into my office, pleasantly surprised to learn what a nice man he was. He might not know it, but that night he earned himself a new fan. And as I sat back at my desk, something dawned on me. It might not have been Sean Connery, but I had been outside, into the night and out in the rain, smoking a cigarette with Bond…James Bond. How cool was that?

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DEALING WITH STRESS, ESPECIALLY AROUND THE HOLIDAYS

December 3, 2008 by in category Archives tagged as

By Dr. Debra Holland

At this time of year, magazines start running articles on dealing with holiday stress–a very worthwhile topic. These articles discuss simplifying the holidays and doing as much planning and work in advance–both useful for managing holiday stress. But my article is not going to be like the traditional ones you read in December.

I had an experience a few years that prompted me to write this blog, using my own situation as a teaching tool for stress management, both during the holiday time, and throughout the rest of the year.

On my way to a meeting in Hollywood, I received a call asking me why I wasn’t at the seminar I thought I was going to be teaching NEXT week. Fifty people had been waiting for me for 20 minutes, and the manager was IRATE!

Guess what my topic was? Stress Management.

I was horrified! I couldn’t believe I’d mixed up the date. I was also ashamed. It’s not like me to make mistakes like this. And, I hadn’t even studied the material I’d be presenting for four hours. Shaken, on the verge of tears, I called in to cancel my appearance at the meeting. Luckily there were others there who could take my place. I turned around and headed home to pick up the powerpoint program and the training and student manuals.

I called the irate manager (who by then had calmed down a bit) and profusely apologized. I told him I’d be there in about 45 minutes. I was a little relieved to learn they could move a part of their program that was supposed to come after my talk into the morning time, so they weren’t sitting around twiddling their thumbs and waiting for me.

I was also upset because this was only the second job I’d done for this consulting company, and I figured I’d just blown the opportunity for future work.

On the race back to my house, and then to the site, I knew I’d have to apply all the stress reduction techniques I was scheduled to teach my students, or I’d arrive at the hotel a frazzled mess, and have lost any credibility I had left. Plus, I knew I’d potentially alienated everyone who’d be listening to me, and I knew I’d have a lot of ground to regain–not something I’d be able to do if I was stressed and anxious.

Here’s what I did to decrease my stress level:

1. I began to take deep centering breaths. Centering breaths are when you breathe to the bottom of your lungs, pushing your belly out when you inhale, and pulling your belly in when you inhale.

2. I prayed. I knew I needed all the help I could get, so I asked for Divine guidance for the situation to turn out in a positive manner.

3. I began to list what I had control over and what I didn’t have control of.
I didn’t:
* Have control over going back in time and fixing my mistake.
* Have control over the traffic.
* Have control over what was happening at the hotel, and what the people involved currently were feeling or thinking about me.
* Have control over the fact that I hadn’t even glanced at the materials.

I did:
* Have control over my attitude–negative or positive thoughts.
* Have control over my body–taking deep breaths.
* Have control over remaining panicked or preparing myself to teach a class by deciding what to do, and how I could use what I already knew about the topic, along with what was in the actual program from my consulting company.

4. I focused on letting go of the circumstances I didn’t have control over, and concentrated on what I did have control over.

Letting go meant not dwelling on them, and especially not magnifying the negative situation by building up more fearful fantasies in my mind.

By doing these four steps, I became more (although not completely) relaxed, and my mind started working on creative solutions. I was able to gear up my energy, knowing I had to go in and give the best teaching performance of my life. So when I arrived at the hotel, an hour and 15 minutes after I was supposed to have started my presentation, I was ready to hit my mark.

And I did.

What followed was an amazing experience, one that taught me more than I taught my class. I walked in, apologized publicly to the audience, and used my own example–what happened, all my reactions, and how I handled them–as the opening to the class. They were laughing and relating, and in five minutes, I knew I had them hooked. Even the manager (who’d greeted me politely, but had silently made it clear that he was mad) relaxed his stiff body language and joined in the laughter.

So I relaxed, too. I put the negative experience behind me, and rode the wave of laughter into a positive, energy-filled presentation. I was able to navigate through the material, maybe not the way I would have if I’d been prepared, but in a way that still worked. And we ended up having fun. They were a close-knit group with a sarcastic sense of humor, and that helped. We laughed a lot.

At the end, when we were discussing how to learn from our mistakes, I again used myself as an example. “One,” I said, “was that I’d learned to triple check future speaking engagement dates. But two, was that I have learned I can make a spectacular mistake, be VERY upset about it, yet meet the challenge and turn it around. How valuable is that to know about myself?” As I was speaking I could feel the positive boost I’d given to my self-esteem. I laughed and told the class, “I’ll have to fill out an evaluation form for myself.”

The class evaluations came back very positive, and my consulting company was very pleased.

What a lesson. (One I’d prefer not to have to learn again.) I’d stepped up to a challenge and mastered it. If I’d given up and avoided the situation, this experience would be forever branded in my consciousness as a shameful failure. But instead, I have a positive experience that I can always use to motivate myself when I’m confronted with a new challenge.

Since that time, I’ve given many trainings for that company and continue to have a positive (and lucrative) relationship with them.

So, as the holidays approach and you’re dealing with challenging situations, remember to take deep breaths, pray, decided what you have control over and what you don’t. Then release the anxiety about what you have no control over. Focus on the positive–especially love and gratitude for all the wonderful people and things you have in your life.

I hope your holidays are relaxed, filled with special family and friends, laughter, love, and joy.

Debra Holland received a master’s degree in Marriage, Family, and Child Therapy and Ph.D in Counseling Psychology from USC and is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She is a one-time Golden Heart and a two-time GH finalist.
Dr. Debra is the author of a forthcoming book, Rules of Engagement: How to Have a Boundary Setting Conversation With a Difficult Person.
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Giving Thanks

November 25, 2008 by in category Archives tagged as

by Lori Pyne

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Beyond dining on comfort foods (what’s not to love about a meal with mashed potatoes and gravy as star players?), having a day centered around giving thanks speaks to my soul.

I have an embarrassment of riches for which I am thankful.

My husband and I laughed more than we cried this year.

My son greeted most days with a smile, enjoyed novel experiences, made new friends and achieved hard earned progress.

Friends shared my joys, comforted my pains, expanded my world, challenged my mind, enhanced my life, and listened while I vented.

My actively, supportive family shared the journey, celebrated achievements, expressed concerns, and loved us.

My husband received his teaching certificate and began the next stage of his new career. I am entertained nightly by his tales of the scams attempted by students, history according to his kids, and the various foibles of teaching.

While my job does not offer the same level of amusement, it gave me something precious. My boss allowed me to adjust my schedule so I could engage in a daily dialogue with my son’s teacher, aids and principal as we tackle the challenges he encountered.

Although few of my writing goals have been met, my desire to create my stories still burns bright.

For all of this and so much more, I give thanks.

For what are you thankful?

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What is Romance

November 19, 2008 by in category Archives tagged as

Monica Stoner, Member at Large

How many of us have heard disparaging remarks concerning Romance? We defend our chosen genre as obviously the most popular and the money maker for many book stores, and point out we write to bring pleasure to a large reading audience. How often do we define our books instead of defending them?

To write Romantically is to show life as better than it is. Mildly attractive becomes stunningly gorgeous. Successful businessman becomes a leader of industry. Feature writer becomes an award winning journalist. Story telling, yarn spinning at its finest and also writing Romantically.

Some authors manage to write successfully about the less glamorous aspects of our daily lives. Disease, poverty, injury take center stage in their books. But no one is pluckier and more beloved than their heroine, no one falls harder or rises further, drawing the reader along for the journey. We hope we can be as tenacious, as graciously successful, as these heroines.

When it comes to the relationship aspect of these books, once again larger than life trumps the every day. One of my favorite romances was about a small town veterinarian and a visiting young woman who has to work through a personal trauma. Standard story, boy meets girl, the feel attraction, their relationship has its ups and downs, ending in marriage. What takes the story beyond the mundane is the character of the veterinarian and the extreme trauma the young woman has experienced, plus her own shy nature, plus a domineering mother. What a lot she has to overcome and she does it so in a fashion we could only hope to emulate all the while maintaining her near translucent skin without a drop of facial cream.

In the real world it=s not unusual for people to meet and fall in love, a high percentage experiencing some form of Happily Ever After. How many of even these exemplary men manage to remember birthdays without a reminder and think to move the couch when (or if) they sweep? Just find one who can replace the toilet paper roll. Now that would be writing about life better than any of us could ever imagine.

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Fred, Ginger & Me

November 13, 2008 by in category Archives tagged as ,

by Bobbie Cimo

As I left my office to go to lunch the other day, it dawned on me all the things that I’ve taken for granted while working at CBS. Most people walking down a busy corridor will bump into another employee or an occasional mail cart. As for myself, if I don’t watch it, I can easily be hit by a brand new car or SUV that’s being pushed down the hall to The Price is Right by a stage hand not paying attention. Or perhaps when venturing up to Accounts Payable, it’s the norm for me to see a fully furnished room being pulled down the hall, attached to a tugger (mini tractor). And if by chance someone dies on the soaps, it’s not unusual to see a casket or headstone stored in the Prop Room that I walk through every morning to get my coffee. Nor, to say hi, to a guy I’ve never seen before, as he heads towards the commissary, wearing only his pajamas and slippers.

Most of the time this is all very amusing, except for the time (before cell phones) when I stepped inside a public phone booth to make a personal call, only to find out I was standing inside a prop. Not amused.

Some people get their fresh air by going to a park on their lunch hour, whereas I just go up to the roof top and then about fifty feet from the helicopter pad, flop myself down into my favorite lounge chair. I usually eat my lunch while enjoying the view of the Hollywood sign that’s facing me. It’s the same sign I’ve seen a thousand times in movie magazines while growing up…only now it’s real and in person. And after a quick lunch, I’m down for my forty minute powernap before heading back to work.

Those are some of the things that I’ve taken for granted while working at CBS, but stepping outside of my office and finding the famed Ginger Rogers seated in a wheelchair, well, that was a surprise. At the time, my office was right down the hall from Stage 46, where they were taping the British version of “This is Your Life,” honoring Ann Miller, and Ginger was one of the guests. Not only was she in a wheelchair and overweight, but she wore tons of make-up and her hair was dry and over bleached. It saddened me to see this legendary star, who at this time was in her early eighties, in this condition. Knowing she had no husband or children, I did wonder who was in charge of taking care of her.

I only recently found out she was of the Christian Science faith and didn’t believe in going to doctors or in traditional medicines. I also learned that she had an unusual amount of peach fuzz on her face and was very sensitive about it, but refused to have it removed. And that was the reason for the heavy make-up.

Because of all the flutter around her preparing her to go on stage, I never got a chance to talk to her. If I had, I would have told her how much I enjoyed all of her body of works. And I probably would have shared with her the fact that as teenager, my mother was so impressed with her, she took the name of Ginger, herself. A name she went by her entire adult life.

Working on the AFI’s, honoring Fred Astaire, was one of my favorite assignments. Besides keeping track of show cost I was the go- to- girl for almost everything else. If dancer Gregory Hines wanted his red shoes polished before doing his routine, he’d hand them over to me. If Jimmy Stewart needed his parking ticket validated, I was the person to see. And the best of them all–when Bette Davis lost the belt to her rain coat, she came to me.

Like all of the AFI shows, there were plenty of film clips to be viewed during rehearsal. And as much as I have enjoyed all of them from various recipients, nothing was more fabulous than those from the Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers movies. I don’t think there was a person working the show who didn’t have this sudden urge to do a little Fred or Ginger themselves…some even gliding across the floor, making their way to the restroom.

At the time, Fred, like Ginger, was in his early eighties. He was thin and frail looking, and there were times when he would unexpectedly doze off at the table. But when they called his name, nobody showed more pep or vigor than he did when he sprang to his feet and ran up the stairs to accept his award.

Working with him was a joy. He was a true professional who asked for no special treatment and who was very sweet to everyone around him. At the end of our time together, I asked him for an autograph–not for myself, but for my mother, “Ginger”.

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