Category: It's Worth It by Kitty Bucholtz

Kitty Bucholtz

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Finding Peace and Joy Again by Kitty Bucholtz

January 9, 2026 by Kitty Bucholtz in category It's Worth It by Kitty Bucholtz, Writing tagged as ADHD in writers, It's Worth It, joy, Kitty Bucholtz, menopause, Perimenopause, writing

It’s been a rough few years for me. Burnout, butt-kicking perimenopause, then menopause that didn’t “pause” my symptoms much. I’ve felt broken. And every January, I hope and pray that this year will be better. This New Year’s, I barely let myself consider the idea for fear that I will be disappointed yet again.

And yet…

A friend of mine has been urging me for months to read some of the materials she’s found on ADHD in adult women. I’ve resisted, feeling these diagnoses are yet another fad created by Big Pharma to increase their profits at our expense. But I finally listened to one of the audiobooks over Christmas vacation. I felt as gobsmacked as when I took the CliftonStrengths test a year or so ago!

Suddenly, it seemed a light turned on in my head showing me what I already knew about myself but with a lot more depth and clarity and understanding. Both times, it was like I could see things I knew were there (like the living room couch, the TV stand, the window covered with blackout curtains) but now I could SEE them! The couch is red and has thick, soft cushions. The TV stand is small, made of pale wood, but the TV is quite large. And the window is bigger and lets in more light than I realized when it was curtained.

What a difference!!

Personality traits that I have been both comfortable with and frustrated by now appear to be different than I’d thought. Maybe I wasn’t actually broken; maybe some of my tools had broken. The tools I’d used to cope with life (we all have them, whatever our personality traits) stopped working as well when hormones and stress blind-sided me. But the books I’ve been reading have reminded me that I am not broken and I don’t need to be fixed. I’ve just been shoved, hard, off course and need to catch my breath and remind myself how to get back up again.

I have no interest in getting tested for ADHD by a psychiatrist or psychologist, but I am very interested in improving my toolbox: sharpening old skills, developing new ones, perhaps letting go of mechanisms that no longer work as well for me. And I think this is going to make a big difference in my writing.

I’ve just started reading The Artist’s Joy by Merideth Hite Estevez, and The ADHD Advantage by Dale Archer, M.D. Both are blowing me away and making me feel — I’m not the only one who feels this way!! (The book that I first read on my friend’s suggestion is A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Sari Solden, M.S.)

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with life, or lacking joy and passion, perhaps some of these books or other similar titles will help you get a better handle on what’s not working and how to get back on track again. I’ll continue writing about this in the future in case it’s helpful!

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Planning for Peace by Kitty Bucholtz

December 9, 2025 by Kitty Bucholtz in category It's Worth It by Kitty Bucholtz, Writing tagged as It's Worth It, Kitty Bucholtz, menopause, organization, Perimenopause, Planning, writing

Everyone who knows me knows I’m big on planning. That’s because my brain gets all stressed out if I don’t know what’s going on, whether I have time to say yes to something, or when I’m afraid I’m missing out on something. That’s why I already know where we’re spending Christmas (with friends a few minutes away), what I’m bringing for dinner (a homemade chocolate pie, homemade cornbread, and drinks), and what I’ll be wearing (embroidered jeans, a lightweight knit shirt, and taking both a sweater and sweatpants for warmth and comfort later). All that in the first week of December! Woohooo!! And now I’m not stressed at all about Christmas. (Yup, Christmas shopping already done!)

But when it comes to still trying to balance the changes menopause is having on my brain and my energy with the goals I want to achieve in 2026…well, planning in a way that will bring me the most peace is critical. One of the things I learned is that cortisol, the stress hormone, can make menopause symptoms worse. So if I’m feeling stressed by how I’m feeling (or by how it’s keeping me from achieving my goals!), the stress actually makes the symptoms worse.

Not to mention the fact that unused cortisol (if there are no tigers to run from or I don’t walk it off quickly) gets stored as fat. Great. Talk about insults and injuries.

I bought a one-year subscription to MasterClass.com last Christmas because Halle Berry hosted a 90-minute “class” with interviews with several doctors and women going through menopause. Here I am two weeks before my subscription expires and I finally finished watching it and taking notes. There was a lot of good information in the class, but let me give you a few bullet points that fit with my topic of planning for peace.

Decluttering — I knew this was not a time-waster or procrastination technique!! But I’d let people convince me it was, and my mess has been stressing me out all year. It’s gotten to the point, I don’t even like to spend much time in my office. Several items on my to-do list now have to do with sorting papers that are currently piled everywhere, filing the important must-keep stuff in boxes I just bought, and throwing out as much as I can. I need to let go of all the old plays I wrote a million years ago…even though I don’t really want to. I never look at them, won’t use them again, and don’t have room in our small apartment to keep writing only for nostalgia’s sake. (And no, for those about to leave a comment about scanning them or taking photos, it would take me weeks to do that! I have a lot of old writing!)
Have a “launchpad” where you keep your keys, your wallet, your purse, your phone/charger, etc. I’ve never called it a launchpad, but I get the idea. I have a bowl I made in pottery class in college where I put all those things. It is so stressful when I’m rushing out the door for the train and realize one of those items did not make it to the bowl and now I have to look “everywhere” for it…because right now my brain can’t remember.
Prioritizing tasks on your list before you begin. Many days I only have a few hours of functioning brain time, so I need to be sure that if I can only get one thing done today, it’s the right thing. And if I can get 2 or 3 things done, they are things I’ll be happy or relieved got done. Much as I want to watch the last episode of The Beast in Me on Netflix to find out how it ends, that is not the best use of my limited brain-time right now! And because limited brain-time has made me perpetually behind in all my goals, when I have a good day (like today!) and can get a dozen things done, I want them to be the things I desperately needed to have done last week and the week before.
Organizational Skills Therapy — one of the doctors mentioned this and I have no idea what it is, but it sounds awesome!! I’m totally Googling it later!

So those four items are now on my list of tools I want to use to plan for peace in 2026. I have no idea what to expect next year. My brain seems to maybe be working better, but I’ve thought that in the past right before a new wave of menopause hell bowled me over. At least with these tools, I can get a few of the most important items done and choose to be satisfied with it, not stressing about what I can’t control.

I hope this is helpful for you as well! Whether you’re in need of this information or know someone you can share it with, it’s always good to have some reliable tools in your author — and life — toolkit. I hope you plan for a peaceful and joyful end of 2025 and that it spills over into all of 2026. God bless you! And Merry Christmas!

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Do You Have Time to Write? by Kitty Bucholtz

November 9, 2025 by Kitty Bucholtz in category It's Worth It by Kitty Bucholtz, Writing tagged as It's Worth It, Kitty Bucholtz, Perimenopause, time management, writing

I’ve always been one of those people who’s trying to get more done, looking for ways to be more efficient so I can do more in the same amount of time. I even taught a time management class for writers for over ten years, sharing everything I learned so people could try new ways to get more writing done. It worked delightfully well for me for years.

Until it didn’t.

Stress and burnout and perimenopause collided a few years ago, and it felt like I got hit by a train. I struggled to get writing work done while I tried to realign my health. Now on a good day, I’m working for 4-6 hours (down from 10-14 five years ago); a bad day might give me 30 minutes. It can be depressing, and that adds to the stress, which messes with my hormones, which clouds my brain even more.

But I’m still the same Kitty, wanting to share what I learn so that I can help others. So I’m writing two nonfiction books right now. One is on perimenopause and menopause for writers. I’m taking everything I’ve learned and all my resources and compiling it all, aimed at writers. I’d love to add more stories from other women writers who have gone through mental and physical health issues, especially related to menopause. Please contact me if you’d like to share your story (kitty at kittybucholtz dot com, and put “Menopause for Writers” in the subject line).

The other book is called Going the Distance: Time and Project Management for Writers. I’ve taken ten years’ worth of my lectures and broken them down into the core elements, and then I’m updating all of the material as well as adding new tips. I’ll start blogging about it soon, but I just finished the outline and I wanted to share it with you.

The 10-chapter book will include the following topics:

Chapter 1: Your Story — Looking at the successes in your past, how does your brain create the best environment for writing?
Chapter 2: Mastering Self-Talk and Cultivating Joy — Creating attitude habits that increase your creativity.
Chapter 3: Dreams, Goals, and the SMART System — Turning goals into dreams is more than just will power; it requires systems to make it happen.
Chapter 4: Prioritizing to Conquer Fear — What to do first and what to do next seems easy at the beginning of the day, but how do we keep working on what’s truly important to us while living in the real world?
Chapter 5: Finding Your Available Days — One aspect of reality is that for most of us the answer to “How many days do I have to write this year?” is not 365. So how many days do you have?
Chapter 6: Translating Goals into Word Counts — This is where we take the real number of writing days and figure out how much we can write or, vice-versa, figure out how much we need to write to hit our goal for the year.
Chapter 7: Habits and Rhythms — All of us have our good days; it’s the rest of the time that gets us down. So how can we create an environment for more good days?
Chapter 8: Flow and Energy Management — So many things can help us get more done in a shorter amount of time! We’ll look at commitment, daydreaming and white space, physical and mental health, distractions, prewriting, and more.
Chapter 9: Organizing Your Writing and Your Workspace — The crucial organization needed to avoid stress and wasted time.
Chapter 10: Progress, Rewards, and Reassessment — Sustainability is the name of the game here! What’s the perfect amount of writing work that keeps you moving forward long-term without burning you out?

If this sounds interesting and helpful to you, let me know! In my post here in December, I’ll start sharing some of my tips and ideas so you can plan for a good writing year in 2026. It’ll be worth it!

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Are You Contaminated? by Kitty Bucholtz

September 9, 2025 by Kitty Bucholtz in category It's Worth It by Kitty Bucholtz, Writing tagged as community, encouragement, Encouraging Words, Kitty Bucholtz, writing

This weekend I saw some friends who moved away five years ago. What a wonderful surprise! At church, one of the pastors asked them what it was like to visit after so long, and one friend said something that made me laugh.

He said, Coming to this church, you get contaminated. People are so friendly and loving and kind, it brings out those traits in you. Then we all learn and grow together.

What a great way to look at it! Getting contaminated, but in a good way! It made me think of us. Outside of church, I’ve never known such an encouraging, helpful group of people like writers. No matter what’s happening, outside or inside our community, we end up coming together and helping each other through.

I want you to just sit in that for a moment. Think of all the writers who have encouraged you or taught you or held you together when it seemed things were falling apart. Think of all the times you’ve done that for others. This kind of contamination is our super power!

Let’s never forget it. Keeping up this strength individually and as a community is so worth it. 🥰

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Balancing Writing in Your Life by Kitty Bucholtz

August 9, 2025 by Kitty Bucholtz in category It's Worth It by Kitty Bucholtz

Last month, I explained my WHOLE PATH System for Writers, an acronym encompassing nine main areas of life: Writing, Heart & Soul, Organization, Laughter, Economics, People, Accountability, Time, and Health. Today, I’d like to talk more about the first (and sometimes, but not alway,s the most important) area, Writing.

The hormone changes from perimenopause had devastating effects on my mental health. It’s been several years and I’m still trying to get back to myself. Being angry, anxious, depressed, and antisocial is not a good mindset for writing, especially in my current genre, Romantic Comedy. I’ve gotten very little writing done since I published my last book in August 2017.

But a new doctor and some changes to both my HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and vitamin supplements have helped me feel almost like “the real me” the last couple weeks! I took a sabbatical from my coaching business so I could focus on my health, and it’s been remarkably difficult to relax and rest and play. Not doing any work has been a struggle I don’t always win — and that in itself underscores that I needed the rest. I am THRILLED to say that I’m finally feeling like writing! Woohoo!!

Just in case life circumstances have taken the joy out of writing for you as well, I wanted to share what I’m doing in case it helps.

As I said, I’m trying to manage the chemistry in my body with HRT, supplements, and better nutrition as well as more exercise. Not just running, but more strength building as well. (I just heard about Japanese HIIT walking and I’ve started that, too. I love it!) I’ve also been cutting way back on sugar and processed foods.
I’m trying to manage my mindset by returning to things that have kept me positive and strong in the past (Bible reading, especially the praise Psalms, and music I love to sing to), and I’m trying to focus on what I’m grateful for rather than what’s bothering me. I want to journal more, but it has been like pulling teeth; I’ll keep trying.
Now that my brain fog is lifting (I still have problems remembering the word I’m trying to say, but it seems to be cyclical during the month with easy weeks and hard weeks), I’m finding myself thinking about all the unfinished stories! I started trying to write for at least 30 minutes every weekday, but that brought my anxiety back. So now I am writing 2-5 days a week, anytime, for any amount of time, on anything that feels fun at the time. I’ve been focusing on “fun” over anything else to get my brain back into a joyful space. It’s slowly working!
Which leads to the next major point — sadly, I’ve found I need to retrain my brain in how to have fun again. So I’m trying to focus on anything that I think might fit the bill — going to a new town on the train, wandering through secondhand shops and anything with a shop window that catches my eye (yesterday I went into three shops that sell new or used electronics, looking at CD players and record albums 😄), re-reading the Harry Potter series, putting together puzzles, etc. I’ve also been spending a lot more time with friends without looking at the clock to see when I have to be back.
This is almost a repeat of the above — Prioritizing play and exercise. It’s making it a priority that is so important. In fact, I took a week where I got on a writing sprint call at 5:30 am my time with friends in Australia, but on those days I did little to no exercise because I couldn’t get myself to stop working on my computer after the writing. So now I’m back to exercising first so it gets done. Play is next in importance, and writing comes after that. But when I think of something funny and fun that I want to put on paper, that counts as play so I do it. Again, training my brain to remember when writing was always play and go back to that.

I hope this gives you some ideas for things you might want to try or change in your life. Writing is important to me! But in order to enjoy a sustainable writing life, writing needs to not always be in the #1 slot in my life. I want to be as joyful and healthy as I can be for the rest of my life, which is going to take some degree of work on my part for the rest of my life. It’ll be worth it!

If you have found other things that work for you, please share them with everyone in the comments! Also, check out Johnny B Truant’s current Kickstarter for The Artisan Author (ends August 14) for more ideas on how to relax and be yourself and create your own version of a sustainable career. Maybe I’ll see you in his Artisan University next month!

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