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Heck Yeah! Lawyers are so Appealing

September 15, 2011 by in category The Write Life by Rebecca Forster tagged as , , , , ,

By Rebecca Forster

If you are a lawyer, a judge, a clerk, a bailiff, I love you. Really, I do. And so do millions of fiction readers. They can’t get enough of you, in and out of the courtroom. In my book* you are exciting, intelligent, mysterious, courageous, resourceful, thoughtful, witty, well-spoken and you are heroic. Of course, there are times when you are vicious, deceitful, brilliantly cold and cruel and that is pretty nifty, too.

I am married to a judge (he’s pretty sedate) but he was once a lawyer and that is how my fascination with you all began. Yet, years of trial watching, staff chatting and transcript reading has created a bizarre obsessive/compulsive need to figure you all out. Since I haven’t been able to, I can at least explain why you are irresistibly inspiring to this novelist and fascinating to those who love to read about you.

1) You speak legalese. It is like French: mysterious, irresistible, intimidating. Throw in a little Latin – a quid pro quo or prima facia – and you can melt a woman’s resolve and strike fear into the hearts of mortal men.
2) You are confident. Is there a super- secret-double-indemnity-swear-on-your-mother’s-grave-and-never-tell class that teaches you how to argue any and every point of view with grace and conviction? **
3) Bad guys listen to you. They even pay you to tell them what to do. That makes you a little edgy by association and who doesn’t like a bad boy -or girl?
4) You’re altruistic, defending bad people because you believe everyone deserves a defense.
5) You’re altruistic, prosecuting bad guys because you believe in justice.***
6) You are eye-candy. From the couture clad divorce-attorney-to-the stars, to the public defender sporting a plaid jacket and pony tail and the plaintiff’s lawyer in that Italian suit you turn courthouse hallways into runway.
7) You are funny. Sometimes you mean to be funny. Either way, a funny attorney is charming.
8) You are excellent secret keepers, which is not to be confused with being trustworthy. Though I believe you are trustworthy, that is a point of debate.
9) You are curious and tenacious.
10) You are heroes and not just in the literary sense. In real life you (and your expertise) are often the only things standing between a person losing something important to them: their children, their fortune, their reputation, their freedom and, yes, their life.****

*Actually, in all my books since I write legal thrillers.
**This also means that your significant other, children or parent can never win an argument. Experience tells me, the only recourse a normal person has when arguing with a lawyer is to cry and proclaim: “You are right, you are always right.”  Works for me.
***A characteristic that make you the perfect inspiration for novels and films.
****You have my permission to show this list to anyone who questions your lovability, capability or worth. You may also use the aforementioned in advertising, closing arguments, opening statements and speed dating.

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Heck Yeah! Meeting Men on the Internet

December 2, 2010 by in category The Write Life by Rebecca Forster tagged as , , , ,
I have been meeting a lot of men online lately and they all want one thing – to talk about books.


Not what you were expecting? Well, I gotta tell you this is a new experience for me, too. Not meeting men, of course. I’ve known a couple in my life, I just don’t remember them very well since I’ve been married like forever (think Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion and if you haven’t seen it, stop reading this and get thee right now to Netflix).

Since marrying I’ve also met some neat guys. They repair my car, my plumbing and take care of my yard.

What makes these new guys so amazing is that they are (get ready) readers of fiction. Before the internet, I didn’t believe they existed. I assumed all men were like my husband and read history (tons and tons of history) or magazines and newspapers and owner’s manuals. Of course, there were always the aberrations like the men who read Tom Clancy or David Morrell. But I’m a little suspect of those readers. I have it on good authority that the publisher lays down a thin layer of testosterone on each page during the printing process. That’s tantamount to carrying a ham hock in your pocket to make a dog love you.

The men I’m talking about read MY fiction – and I’m a woman author. I think my books are pretty thrilling considering I write legal thrillers. There’s always a good murder (and I’m talking really good). There are fight or flight scenes. There are sex scenes (okay, maybe not real sex scenes. My mom reads my books, after all. She loves a creative murder but sex? Not so much). There are bare-knuckled-intellectual smack downs in my fictional courtrooms that men would love. I could see how some of this would attract male readers but my books also feature women leads and emotional entanglements. I figured that took me and a whole lot of other authors off their radar.

The cool thing about all this is that these guys not only love to read fiction, they are like book mechanics now that I’m E-publishing. Not only do they point out a problem with a file, they happily help me fix it. I’m assuming they are happy to help since the dialogue between us continues over weeks and months and, in some cases, years. I know about their children and grandchildren, we swap travel stories and suggestions for good reads. I get a little jealous when they don’t add ‘but your work is so much better’ to their recommendations but I get over it.

So, here’s a big heck yeah! to all the guys who read fiction – my books and yours. Knowing they’re out there on the internet has sort of changed the way I write. Now I swipe a little more testosterone on those pages just to say thanks.

Rebecca Forster

As an advertising executive I marketed a world-class spa when it was still called a gym, did business in China before there were western toilettes and mucked around with sheep to find out how my client’s fine wool was made. Then I wrote my first book. . .visit me at http://www.rebeccaforster.com/

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