Valentine’s Day is coming up and I won’t be with my husband, I’ll be on a writing trip with friends. I’m not too worried about it though. I mostly think of Valentine’s Day as a Hallmark holiday.
That being said, I don’t think you can say “I love you” too much. You never know when it will be the last time, but more than that, expressing to someone that you love them forms and shapes and repairs the foundation of your relationship.
But what does it mean?
This year, the day before Valentine’s Day is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent in the Christian faith. Lent is a time of repentance, turning from the wrongs of the past, and pressing closer to God. It’s a reminder that God loves us so much that he’d be willing to take a bullet to keep us safe.
That’s the kind of love many romance writers weave into their stories every day. It’s most obvious in romantic suspense where one person can literally take a bullet for the other. But it’s in all the other stories where someone says, I’m sorry, I made a mistake, and the other person says, I forgive you because I love you. And then they grow closer than ever.
I love those stories!
Some people theorize that the reason people respond to stories of love and sacrifice and forgiveness and happily ever after is because we are wired that way. Our enjoyment of such stories opens our hearts to the possibility that those tales represent the Truth of why we are here. We are loved, we made mistakes, a sacrifice was made on our behalf so that we wouldn’t be lost forever, forgiveness was offered, and happily ever after is ours for eternity.
That’s a pretty amazing love story. Loved forever. I want that.
Much as I can’t wait for my writing trip, I’m going to miss my husband. I’ll miss waking up beside him every morning, trying to be the first one to say “I love you.” I’ll miss how much he makes me laugh. And as much as I’ll try to deny it, I’ll miss how much he teases me to the point of losing my mind.
Because somewhere in the layers of all of those things, I’ve found a taste of what love is all about – someone who sacrifices to make my life better, who always forgives me, who wants to be with me forever, no matter what.
Love is the answer to why I am here. It’s the answer to why I write about love.
2 0 Read more
I was thinking I should learn a new language.
You know what they say, keep the mind active, learning, getting exercised. Maybe Spanish? My year of Spanish in 8th grade was a hazy memory, and learning Spanish through the advertisements on the New York Subway had not been a successful foray in effective communication….
Cucarachas? Mandelos a un Motel!
Not the best way to win friends and influence people (unless, of course, they are Spanish speaking cockroaches).
But then as I struggled with vocabulary words, grammar and syntax, I realized I was already in the middle of learning a new language: Tech.
When people (of a certain age) say they find technology confusing, daunting, that they’re not good at it, I don’t think they’ve taken on board that Tech is a new language. Would you expect to be able to speak a new language fluently after an hour’s class?
I didn’t think so.
If anyone complained that even after many hours of learning French they were unable to read a novel, watch TV, or that they were unable to speak quickly and fluently, articulating their every nuanced point, most people would think: Huh? It takes more than a few hours to become fluent in a new language!
This point is not to discourage non techfluent types, but just a request that everyone realign their self expectations to a more reasonable level. To stop beating up on themselves because they are harboring absurdly high expectations of fluency, and appreciate learning tech, like learning a new language, is a process.
And the language metaphor doesn’t stop there. As countless childhood development research statistics have indicated, when we are young, our ability to acquire new languages is remarkable. Thus everyone that has grown up learning the language of Tech has internalized it fairly effortlessly.
I can recall my horror and distress when I came across my first French child, a six year old, and I could not fathom how it could have learned French so well at the age of six, when I was still struggling at the age of 21 after years of classes.
Thus many of those that have grown up speaking Tech and are now explaining it to you may find your struggles incomprehensible. It’s easy. It’s natural. It’s intuitive. It’s obvious. Sure different dialects (games, new programs, operating systems, upgrades) can present a challenge, but for many, the challenge is fun to overcome. Just like people enjoy learning new languages, or new vocabularies, or new accents and idioms. But it’s often not so easy for a non-native speaker.
And as it’s a new language, it is constantly changing, adding new words, sprouting new dialects right and left, even the basics changing and morphing to fit this brave new world. It is going to take all my efforts to build my vocabulary and figure out how to effectively communicate and make myself understood.
Parlez-vous tech?
Oui! Un petit peu….
2 0 Read moreMonica Stoner, Member at Large
Fact is, romance doesn’t die at any one specific age though to peruse the Romance section of a book store one might draw the conclusion a heroine over thirty is also over that proverbial hill. At a time when publishing decisions were based on advice from people barely out of college, that might be understandable. But in this very brave and shiny new world of small presses and self publishing, why don’t we see more heroines, well, our age?
Could the lack of mature heroines be caused by habits and standards established in those earlier days of publishing (all of five or so years ago?) Or do we write what we believe people want to read? Do we worry if we were to write about people falling in love at the same time their arches are falling, we won’t find enough of an audience?
Remember the phrase “Love, like youth, is wasted on the young†from that lovely 1960 song “The Second Time Around?â€
Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground
It’s that second time you hear your love song sung
Makes you think, perhaps, that love like youth
Is wasted on the young…â€
Words by Sammy Cahn and Music by Jimmy Van Heusen
-Performed by Bing Crosby in the 1960 film “High Time”,
It’s an intriguing question. Right now the hot age group seems to be teens into twenties, and some of those books are extremely well written. Does this mean we should all be pounding out our own YA or MG books? I admire these authors but teens live in another universe with their very own language from me, and I sincerely doubt I could ever create a book in that genre. Having survived my teens, twenties, thirties, and beyond, I believe I could create a story about those young people many decades later.
What do you think? Is there a need for books about people whose libido didn’t dry up and blow away the day they bought their first pair of support hose?
Monica Stoner writes as Mona Karel in multiple sub genres.
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More info →A Slice of Orange is an affiliate with some of the booksellers listed on this website, including Barnes & Nobel, Books A Million, iBooks, Kobo, and Smashwords. This means A Slice of Orange may earn a small advertising fee from sales made through the links used on this website. There are reminders of these affiliate links on the pages for individual books.
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