Encouragement for Writers in Perimenopause by Kitty Bucholtz
April 9, 2024 by Kitty Bucholtz in category It's Worth It by Kitty Bucholtz tagged as It's Worth It, Kitty Bucholtz, Perimenopause
I am having the worst time going through perimenopause. Seriously. It seems I’m angry or stressed or anxious or angry-stressed-anxious almost all the time! A year ago, I finally saw a doctor and started HRT (hormone replacement therapy—bioidentical from plants, not the old stuff from pregnant horses). Things started getting better, and I even wrote in my journal one day that I felt almost 100%.
Then it started sliding downhill again. I’ve been trying to figure out what changed, in my body or my life, to make things feel worse. The best guess my husband and I could come up with was that my doctor changed my prescription around September or October, and that seemed to be around the time I got worse.
But today, minutes before I started typing this, I spoke to another friend going through this and she said since I had Covid in October, it was probably that. I had no idea Covid could compound my symptoms! My friend is a therapist (I can’t remember if she’s a psychologist or something else) and she said, “It’s true. It can make it worse.”
CRAP!
Why am I talking about this? Because around half the people reading this blog post have recently gone through or are going through perimenopause or know someone who is. (Maybe you’re married to someone like me. I’m so sorry. My husband might start a support group.) And if your hormonal changes haven’t been kind to you, you’re not getting much writing done. And if you’re anything like me…that really bothers you.
I don’t know what it is about my personality, but pretty much every really difficult thing I’ve gone through in my life, I process by writing about it in such a way as to help others through it. So that’s what I’m doing again.
I’ve just started outlining Encouragement for Writers in Perimenopause, one of the first books that will come out in my Encouragement for Writers series. Hopefully, it will release later this year. But…the other thing perimenopause seems to steal away, for a while at least, is confidence. This seems true in every field—my architect friend and my actress friend report the same. We’re afraid to get gigs or pursue clients because we’re afraid our brains will be in “brain fog” condition just at the time we need to use them in front of the people who’ve hired us!
Five years ago, just 2019, I couldn’t find very much helpful information online. Mostly I was reading articles by (here I go, being unfairly prejudicial to a group; sorry, but at least I recognize it!)—white, male, American doctors. And nearly everything I read then pretty much said, these are the symptoms and there’s not much you can do, but don’t worry, it’ll go away in five or ten years.
WHAT?!
Talk about making me angry!
Whew…okay…taking a breath now.
But in the last few years, a lot more helpful information has become more easily available (i.e., I found more of it when Googling), mostly written by women who were struggling themselves. I even found two white, male, American doctors on YouTube who were super helpful! (Haha!)
Unfortunately, just like when we were teenagers, everyone is different. There are things that will make a small positive difference for me that might make a huge positive difference for you, and vice versa. And there are SO. MANY. SYMPTOMS. Some of them are really weird—like itchy ears! (I’ve got that, too! Only recently read it’s something enough women have complained about to add it to the list of potential issues.)
If you’re going through this and want more answers, or if you were able to figure out some helpful answers for yourself, please leave a comment and/or email me at kitty @ kittybucholtz .com. Maybe you have some useful information that can go into the book!
I’m determined to help myself and others get through this easier. And I’m doubly determined to help women and men stop being embarrassed to talk about it. We all know that we all went through hormonal changes as teenagers, and everyone accepted it as a normal part of life. We need to look at perimenopause in the same way—it’s just a normal part of life, nothing for any of us to be embarrassed about, and the more we understand it, the easier it will be to deal with it.
Imagine not wondering if your friend, sister, wife, mother, or coworker was considering divorce…or had started to hate her job…or hated your guts for some unknown reason. It’d be a wonderful life if we understood each other a little more.
So of Kitty’s Books
New Release: Dark of the Day
April 8, 2024 by marianne h donley in category Apples & Oranges by Marianne H. Donley, Spotlight tagged as Carol L Wright, Dark of the Day, Debra H Goldstein, Eclipse Stories, new release, Paula Gail Benson
An anthology of stories to celebrate the April 2024 eclipse in North America. These stories are located in various places and are even of various genres and themes. What they have in common, besides featuring eclipses, are that they are all written by brilliant authors and will all entertain you. Read them before the eclipse, to get into the mood, or after, to nostalgically remember it.
During the darkness, all manner of things can happen. When people are distracted by this spectacular celestial event, criminals can operate unimpeded, they can also be caught.
Trips to see the event can lead to disaster, or they can save the day. And the science of looking at the sun becomes important when a partner strays.
The event can mean many different things to a disaster cult, to drug-dealing Russians, to an artist striving for his grand opus.
It spreads across the country to, maybe, give confirmation to a program to analyze the universe, to give a gift to a mermaid in an abandoned water park, to show what the crazy guy at the fast food place is really like, to help a young girl find her way.
As a not-so-clever crime goes awry, a hike to view the spectacle is interrupted.
Contributors include Cari Dubiel, Katherine Tomlinson, Carol L. Wright, Joseph S. Walker, John Rogers Clark IV, M. K. Waller, Toni Goodyear, Laura Oles, Bridges DelPonte, Eric Beckstrom, Kaye George, Paula Gale Benson, John M. Floyd, Debra H. Goldstein, Michael Bracken, and James A. Hearn.
Purchase Links
Other Eclipse Stories
Marianne H. Donley: Featured Author
April 7, 2024 by marianne h donley in category Apples & Oranges by Marianne H. Donley, Featured Author of the Month tagged as anthology, Bethlehem Writers Group, Children's stories, Marianne H. Donley, Once Upon A Time, The Ghost in Grandma's Closet
Marianne H. Donley makes her home in Pennslyvania with her husband, son, and a very very active dog. She is a member of Bethlehem Writers Group, The Charmed Connection, Sisters in Crime, The Guppies and Capital Crimes. When Marianne isn’t working on A Slice of Orange, she might be writing short stories, funny romances, or quirky murder mysteries, but this could be a rumor. She also could be knitting.
ONCE UPON A TIME
Step through our castle doors into a world of imagination!
At long last, the Bethlehem Writers Group, known for its award-winning anthologies, has published a book especially for children. ONCE UPON A TIME is a collection of twenty-one sweet, funny, and yes, strange stories for kids from preschool through middle school.
This anthology is designed to grow with your child.
First, stories such as “GG and Teddy and the Dream Willow” by Will Wright, “The Princess of Booray” by Emily P. W. Murphy, and “A Nutty Adventure” by Judith Mehl, will enchant those who enjoy being read to while sitting on a grown-up’s lap. Others, including “A Harmonious Secret” by Josie Myers, “Bird Boy” by Russell Uhler, and “Bring-Your-Monster-to-School Day” by Kidd Wadsworth, allow young readers to immerse themselves in the fantasy and adventure of reading on their own. Finally, for older kids, such stories as “Book Worm” by Christopher D. Ochs and “Coot” by Anne Hamilton complete the collection with the tween or early teen in mind.
Enjoy these and other entertaining stories from our award-winning authors including: Jeff Baird, Marianne H. Donley, Ralph Hieb, Diane Sismour, Paul Weidknecht, and Carol L. Wright. In addition, we are happy to present “Stick to the Bypathings,” an imaginative fantasy from Eleanor Ingbretson, the winner of the 2016 Bethlehem Writers Roundtable Short Story Award. And charming illustrations from Agy Wilson enhance each story.
All together, this collection will captivate and delight children of all ages—even if they’re grownups!
“Once Upon a Time is a readable treat . . . the perfect book to snuggle up with before bedtime or share over milk and cookies. . . . [S]ure to delight both youngsters and the young at heart.” A. E. Decker, author of Moonfall Mayhem, the highly praised young adult fantasy series.
Marianne’s story in ONCE UPON A TIME, “The Ghosts in Grandma’s Closet,” is about a little boy whose imagination almost gets the best of him.
Marianne has short stories in the following anthologies.
Rabt Book Tour: Excerpt From Everybody Loves Polar Bears by LoLo Paige
April 6, 2024 by marianne h donley in category Apples & Oranges by Marianne H. Donley, Rabt Book Tours
Book 1 of the Polar Paired Series
Romance Enemies to Lovers
Date Published: December 19, 2023
Publisher: Avoca Press
Purchase Links
Everybody Loves Polar Bears by LoLo Paige
Excerpt
A tall, neon life-size Barbie hurried toward them, long blonde curls springing up and down like miniature slinkies. Victoria Miracle approached in all her glittery goose-down glory, a fusion of glamor and frostbite protection, reminding Macy of a disco-themed northern lights display. Winter seemed to follow her around like a trusty sidekick, along with her entourage of three scurrying behind her.
Macy got a kick out of The Talent and how they expected everyone to dote on them and cater to their every need. Victoria’s demeanor was a stark contrast to the independent nature of women Macy knew in Alaska. She’d read about the coddled movie star stereotype, and here was one in the flesh.
“Make this quick. I’m freezing my tush off.” The movie star’s frosty breaths puffed out of her like a high-speed locomotive.
As Victoria strategically positioned herself next to the pond, Macy couldn’t help but imagine her strutting down the runway of a 1960s psychedelic fashion show. Her flashy style was part Picasso, part Gucci, and all sass. Victoria stood out in this winter wonderland like a burst of disco in a snow globe.
Macy bet Victoria never met a camera she didn’t like.
The animal handler stood by, holding a long leash attached to the little polar bear cub. He gingerly placed the leash in Victoria’s hand, mumbling instructions to hold on tight.
The fish-out-of-water movie star gave Macy a critical up-and-down assessment. “Are you from here? Have you been around bears?”
Macy shrugged. “I know what to do around black and brown bears.”
Victoria gave her a look of appraisal. “Good enough for me.” She called out to Zippo. “Keep this bear woman next to me at all times.” A makeup artist appeared, dabbing lip gloss on Victoria’s already shiny lips and arranging her flawlessly spiraled curls. The artist hurried off again.
Zippo ordered the animatronics operator to dunk Mother Snowflake. The operator slowly lowered the crane, placing the fake bear into the water. “We’ll edit the crane out later,” he announced to no one in particular.
“Vicky, say your lines, then squat next to the little bear and deliver the rest. And don’t scare him,” directed Zippo from his perch on the crane arm. “We need a tender moment, with Fake Mother Snowflake watching.”
Macy couldn’t help herself. “Excuse me, hate to keep interrupting, but that wouldn’t happen in real life. The mother bear would attack the human to protect her cub. She wouldn’t just hang out and watch.”
“This isn’t real life. It’s the movies,” Zippo said flippantly. “We do what we want in a movie. Now, can we get on with this, please? It’s a tad nippy out here, and I’d like to get this done, if you don’t mind.” He turned away to talk on his headset.
“Don’t get your panties in a twist,” mumbled Macy.
Victoria chortled. “Love your style, Bear Woman,” she purred.
Zippo cocked a brow. “Are we ready now, ladies?” He turned to the crane operator. “Lower the fake Mother Snowflake into the water. Quiet, everyone. Rolling. Marker!” He peered through his camera monitor.
A woman held up a black-and-white clapboard in front of the camera. Zippo nodded at the red digital readout. “Scene fourteen. Take one!”
The person snapped it and hurried away.
Zippo pointed at the extras. “Background, action! Victoria, go!”
While Macy and her merry band of extras gathered around Victoria, the drunk guy holding Macy’s prop news camera suddenly stumbled.
“Where’s my news reporter? Oh! There you are,” he slurred, beholding the glorious Victoria. “Hey, you wanna see my oosik?” He swung his camera and bumped the unsuspecting bear cub on the head.
“Your what?” Victoria wrinkled her face just as the frightened cub bawled and ran in circles around her, wrapping his leash tightly around her legs.
“Get this savage beast away from me!” she yelled. Her legs lashed together as she teetered toward the icy water. “Somebody! Get this leash off me!”
Macy sprinted forward. Her ninja-like reflexes prevented Victoria from tumbling off the edge, but in the process, Macy slipped on the ice-crusted snow. Her feet fought for traction, but it was a losing battle. She lost her balance and flailed wildly, teetering backwards. Arms spinning like windmills, she failed to restore equilibrium and executed a flawless butt-first plunge into the chilly water, like a clumsy duck on a crash landing.
Other Books by LoLo Paige
What’s Your Heat Level?
April 5, 2024 by Tracy Reed in category WritingHappy April. I apologize for a repeat post. I’m assisting my mother on a project which has consumed most of my attention. I’ll be back next month with a new post.
I selected this post, because it’s a good reminder to understand the heat levels of your. I consider knowing your heat levels as one of the basic fiction writing tools.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Happy October. I’ve got a question for you. What’s your heat level? Recently, I was asked a similar question about my books and I have to admit I was a little off base on a few of them.
A few posts back, I mentioned I had hired a PA. She’s been extremely helpful. In the beginning of our working arrangement, she asked me about the heat level on one of my books. I have to admit I was at a loss. What I thought and the reality were completely different.
In the past, when someone asked me that question I would refer to my books as more sensual sometimes a little steamy. However, there was a book my PA was setting up a swap for and I wasn’t quite sure of the heat level. She sent me a heat level chart and I was a little surprised where some of my books landed on the chart.
Talk about an eye opener…this little chart revealed a truth I didn’t really want to know, the majority of my books are not just Steamy, they’re also Sexy. Sometimes very Sexy. However, I have a book that unbeknownst to me, lands in the gray space between Sexy/Steamy and Erotic. I really didn’t want to admit this so I asked my godsister who had read an ARC for the book and she agreed it fell into the gray zone.
The heat level of some of my books is the reason I had to hire a new editor. In my defense, not all of my books fall into the Sexy/Steamy category. I have some that are Wholesome/Clean and Sweet. Those are either novellas, prequels or series starters.
Here’s how I write some of my series. I loop you in with a Sweet book and as the series progresses the stories get steamier. It’s like a slow build up. I’ve hinted at the sensuality so by the time the reader gets to book three or the end of book two [if it’s a big book], they are begging for the characters to go further.
Now I will admit, sometimes I don’t see the intense heat some of my readers see. I’ve had reviews that were a little shocking but that’s a matter of opinion. I had one review that said they couldn’t make it past chapter four. She went so far as to call it soft porn. I may write a little steamy, but I don’t write porn. No offense to those that write and read porn. Back to this review, I felt sorry for her, because she missed out on a great book. I also had a review praise me for the sexy love scenes. That one makes up for the other review. When it comes to heat levels it’s a little subjective. What one person finds Sexy/Steamy someone else considers Sensual/Medium Heat.
I have one book to this day I really don’t know how Amazon managed to class it as Erotic Poetry. My mother and I have had several conversations about it, however she agrees with Amazon. She said it’s the implied tone. Just last week, my book LOVE NOTES, was the #1 free book in three categories…Love & Erotic Poetry, Poetry About Love and my personal favorite category…One-Hour Parenting & Relationships Short Reads on Amazon.
I can understand Poetry About Love and I’ll even acquiesce to Love & Erotic Poetry. However, I’m flabbergasted at One-Hour Parenting & Relationships Short Reads. My mother told me to stop complaining, because the book gets me noticed. She’s right. I’m also often trading top spots in the Love & Erotic category with The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. So I guess I’m in great author company.
Back to my original question…what’s your heat level? Check the chart below and see where your books land.
ROMANCE NOVEL HEAT LEVELS
Wholesome/Clean
!
Chats kisses, holding hands, and hugging. No love scenes – not even closed door. Just lots of emotion
Sweet
! !
Sex is implied. Closed door/morning after for intercourse. Any sexual activity would be vague on detail, heavy on emotion
Sensual/Medium Heat
! ! !
Sexual chemistry is heating up. Love scenes on page and described but still lighter on detail with strong emotional component.
Sexy/Steamy
! ! ! !
Sex is man component of the plot and is on-page and explicit. Swearing/dirty talk is frequent. Light kink/user-friendly sex toys might make an appropriate appearance. HEA.
Erotic Romance
! ! ! ! !
LOTS of sex, graphic, detailed, often kinky, non-conventional, and boundary-pushing. Sex is a big part of story line but still a HEA.
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A LADY’S POINT OF VIEW
Being nearsighted in Regency London isn’t a crime—but it feels like one to a lady in disgrace.
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WHERE EAGLES CRY
Jilted by love in 1834, Cara Lindsay sails from Boston to Mexico’s rugged California to begin a new life with a favorite aunt.
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