Well many moons ago, I was young, silly and in love with being in
love, don’tcha know!
Love of my life and I where planning a romantic trip away for
Valentine’s Day a few years ago.
He said he would take care of everything, booking and planning of
said trip, and I like the egjet I am, let him.
I told all my friends about it, raved about said love-of-my-life,
the ohhed and ahhed and said how lucky I was.
I brought sexy underwear and sexy pj’s, packed a few little toys
and the like and away we went.
He was very cagey about where we where going, but did let slip
that no passport was needed…………..bummer.
On the day itself was so excited and was up at the crack of dawn,
ready, eagerly awaiting my romantic trip………….I was so loved
up and worshipped my man and off we went.
We went to Brighton, okay not what I was expecting but what the
heck……………….. nice hotel, romantic dinner, walks on the beach, dancing and of course room service, what more does any girl need.
Imagine my surprise when we didn’t stop at the seafront, ahh I
thought the countryside, maybe a little cottage, hmm, very nice I
Finally we turned into a field,
( you can see where this is going can’t you?) There at the other end of the field was a clapped out old caravan, very small and dingy looking.
He was beaming and grinning like a loon, so very happy for himself!
When we got out of the car, I sank straight down into the mud and
ruined my second fave pair of shoes!
Still I gritted my teeth and said nothing, ( he thought i was
overcome with emotion , well I was but not like he was thinking, I
can tell you!).
He said that his friends’ dad had offer it to him for the weekend
and he thought it was too good an offer not to miss!).
It now began to rain and he couldn’t get the key to turn in the lock
of the door, really was going well so far!
When we finally got inside, I could have cried!
It was musty and stale smelling not to mention or to put too fine
a point on it………………filthy!
Now he was beginning to see for himself, this might not have been
such a good idea after all.
We had no food, no water, no heat and no electricity and no bloody
All this time I had been very quiet and now I could see he was
beginning to get worried!
I asked him what he had packed for the trip and he said “his
fishing gear, some beer and a change of clothes”,
then asked him “what was I going to be doing, while he drank and
fished the weekend away?” are you ready for this………..yes?
Well because he had been offered the caravan for free, his
friend’s dad thought that in return he could clean and tidy it up and get
it all nicely spic and span, so he thought I being the “little lady”
could do that while he relaxed!
So there I where in the middle of the field, in a mangy caravan,
with a lunatic.
He looked at me and said, “you don’t mind do you?”.
I knew there and then he had a death wish!
Well I said we will have to go back to town and get some cleaning
When we got back to town, he gave me some money we split up to go
to various shops, and were to meet back up an hour later.
I booked into a very nice hotel, had a lovely bubble-bath,
changed and went to dinner and left the next day to go home by
Where he is I don’t know, but if he knows what is good for him he will never darken my door again EVER!
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